Another online friendship turned to love - that's our story. Heather and I were friends over our music myspace pages for a year before our conversations became romantic. Then, she flew to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada to meet me in person, and sparks flew. We have been inseparable since.

Countless flight back and forth, $5,000 in tickets, and a wedding ceremony later, Heather's application to immigrate to Canada is in process. In the meantime, I have been living here in Los Angeles as a non-resident alien for 6 months at a time, leaving for a few weeks and re-entering. Each time, feeling more anxious that I will not be permitted to enter. Each time, having to come up with back-up plans, on how to move my belongings back to Canada short notice, wondering if we'll get a knock at the door while I'm here, wondering where we will find the funds for an immediate deportation - all on top of the application and name change fees.

Heather decided to change her name. Everything went relatively smoothly, until it was time to change her passport. That is not permitted, thanks to the Defense of Marriage Act, recognizing only a marriage between a man and a woman. This means that for our upcoming trip to Calgary, Heather will have documents with one name and a passport with another, with obvious potential border issues. In order to get her name changed, we will need a certified court order from the state of California, an additional $350, and an additional application fee to change her name on her passport.

I love my country. I love Canada, and I feel so lucky to be able to have somewhere to call home that will accept her as my wife. But I also love the home we have created here in California. I love that it is her home, where she was raised, where her friends and family reside. I hate that she has to leave. That it is our only option, to be together legally, to create a life and family, safely, together.

When we woke on November 5th 2008, she held me and cried. I hate the shame she feels, in not being able to provide a safe place, in the only home she's ever known. We lived in separation, flying back and forth, spending money we didn't have on hope and determination that only love can provide. We live now in fear, of my being caught, deported, and banned from visiting my friends and family here.

Fear, of issues at the border with her passport, the safety her government has jeopardized in forcing her to have two last names on her identification. Fear of the future, what happens then? When we come to visit friends and family - what is the risk of my being detained on suspicion of trying to live here, because I'm married to a US citizen?

Soon, we will live in exile, from her country... as thankful as I am for the home we will have in mine, this is her home. This is what she's known her whole life. And because of who she loves, she can't stay. (Photo; personal; taken in Los Angeles)

Tags: USA, Canada