The first two months of our lives together started out as what may resemble a typical love story. But suddenly we were catapulted into a world which is unfamiliar to most Americans.

Marco and I met on the internet. It's hard to explain the immediate connection we felt toward each other, but it was blatantly there. After only two months and literally thousands of typed pages later, I was on my way to Europe for the first time. I had never had much interest in Germany. I would have much rather been heading to some place a little more exotic, but I was following my heart which didn't lend me much choice.

It's hard to look your best and refreshed after such a long flight, but it didn't matter....even though we were meeting face to face for the first time. What I was about to experience would become the best day of my life. My dreams were finally coming true and I didn't realize it at the time, but I would learn to love Germany.

A few weeks later, Marco was on his way to New Orleans. Even though I have spent most of my life in big cities, I've always been a country boy at heart and I knew that he would have to accept that part of me, not to mention...tolerate my boisterous and at times "difficult" family. I probably over did it his first trip though. New Orleans can be challenging for anyone, but I decided to culturally submerge him anyway. From Bourbon Street to alligator infested canoe trips, snakes and being awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by some of the loudest insects on the planet...none of it was too shocking for him. I felt like I was experiencing life...for the very first time. After my family didn't send him packing...I was really in love. I would need no more convincing that he was the one for me. It was the first time my family had seen me truly happy. I had always wanted that. I wish my mom had had the chance to see it too.

Marco was immediately accepted as part of the family. But, it was all about the same time that we were catapulted into the very frightening world of being a bi-national gay couple. Being American, I thought I would find a way for us, because our "system" protects it's own, but I couldn't. We were torn, and our hearts were ripped to peices. Dead end after dead end, we knew It would not be easy for us. His visa was running out soon and I would have to figure out a way once we got back to Germany. The only thing I knew for certain at that point was that we would not be separated.

That will soon be six years ago. We have exhausted every legally imaginable route possible trying to figure out a way to return, but it isn't going to happen. After Hurricane Katrina, Marco got a 3 month visa. We sold everything, quit our jobs and went home to help my family clean up. The 3 months went by fast and 3 days before his visa was to expire (again) we had to say goodbye to our family. We didn't have anything to return to in Germany, so we threw on our backpacks and for the next year headed south...all the way to Costa Rica. We knew we couldn't do this forever, but it was nice to escape the feeling that America and it's people had completely turned their back on us. We really didn't have many other options either.

Dad called us in Costa Rica and said he was getting married. Mom had died a few years before and he was 68. I was excited to be his "best man", but the day we returned home through Houston was not our lucky day. To make a long story short, Marco's previous stay was being questioned. Marco explained his purpose of being in America a year before and that he had been there to help my family clean up after Hurricane Katrina. But immigration officials didn't buy it and accused him of "working for room and board" and went on to say that what he had done was against federal immigration law. He couldn't tell them that I was supporting him, that would have made it even worse. They physically separated us for the first time in our lives. Grant it...it was only for a day, but it was the day we decided to leave America for good.

As an American, it is excruciatingly painful to wake up and realize that you are purposefully being excluded from the pursuit of happiness, not to mention, life, liberty and justice for all. But, for the sake of sanity; for the time being, we've had to put that part of our lives far behind us. We packed up our hopes, our dreams and our money and returned to Germany, because we knew it would be a safe place for us. We were both desperate for some sense of normalcy too.

We're married now and we both have jobs here. I quit resisting and finally learned the language. Munich is our home. Perhaps, one day, we will return to America, but not until we have the freedom to do so...as a family. (photo: personal; Mardi Gras 2005, Patrick and Marco together since: March 2004)

Tags: USA, Germany