Mel and Hans share a life in the East Bay -- where they are surrounded by friends, own a two-story home, have jobs they love. But after 25 years together, Mel, a U.S. citizen, still cannot sponsor Hans, a Dutch citizen, for permanent U.S. residency.
If they weren't gay, this would be easy.
U.S. citizens can sponsor their children, parents and spouses as immigrants. In the eyes of U.S. immigration law, Hans is none of the above.

"You can pretend, in some ways, that when you're gay and living in the Bay Area, you have equal status with heterosexuals. That is, until something as defined as this comes along," says Mel, a 56-year-old physical therapist. "You can really see the lines drawn, and it's painful, the very hypocrisy of it, the unfairness of it."

Hans, 44, moved to the United States in 1980 on a student visa. In 1996, by then a clinical psychologist, he exhausted his work visa. Now, he is here illegally, as are many others in the same situation who take extraordinary steps to keep their status a secret.

Mel and Hans insisted that only their first names be used for this article. Though immigration officials haven't knocked on their door, the two are careful. Air travel, both foreign and domestic, is out of the question.

"We are completely in limbo," says Mel. "On one hand, the government says it doesn't recognize your relationship -- you can only sponsor your partner through marriage. On the other hand, if I were to get married, the government says it's not valid, because we're gay. How can we win?" Read full story, Gay Lives in Limbo, US immigration laws leave binational couples in the lurch" by Jose Antonio Vargas, Chronicle Staff Writer, Sunday, January 11, 2004)

(Photo: by Chris Hardy, Chronicle. Mel (left), a U.S. citizen, and Hans, a native of the Netherlands, have been lovers for 25 years and share a home in the East Bay, but under U.S. immigration law Mel cannot sponsor Hans for permanent U.S. residency.)

Tags: USA, Netherlands