After Amara's visitor visa expired and her savings ran out, the long months stretched into years during which she was unable to work in her profession because she did not have a work permit. Slowly, Amara's self-esteem sank lower and lower, exacerbated by her increasing dependence on me for financial support. We spent many hours and resources trying to find a legal solution to our dilemma, including going to lawyers, entering the green card lottery, negotiating with potential employers, trying to get the latest information and contacting other couples in the same situation. Throughout our-year immigration struggle, it was extremely frustrating to realize that if I had the same rights as most of my fellow (heterosexual) American citizens, Amara and I could have married and gone on with our lives like other couples. Then in 1993, a large endometrial cyst on Amara's ovary burst and we were suddenly faced with the difficult decision of using the last of my savings, or sending her back to Germany for the operation necessary to remove the cyst, with the risk that she would not be allowed to enter the U.S. again and we would be separated for good. (photo: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality archive) Read more Reflections From A Binational Lesbian Couple in Oregon.

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality