We are coming to the end of the legal student options...we actually have about two years left so it's not as bad as other stories. We are hoping that this year will be the year we get Diversity Visa Lotto! (We can dream!)

We dont know what we will do at the end of the Student Visa. Croatia doesn't offer gay marriage and neither does the US. So we talked last week for the first time about whether or not we might have to end our relationship. We usually have held on to the hope of the Diversity Visa or Federal Marriage. I guess, we must explore all the things that could happen...even though we mostly try to just live for today.

I am hoping that if there is a Gay loving God that he knows how amazing this is for us and how good we are and that we deserve to be together just like anybody else. (photo; personal; Eric and Neto in Utah)

Tags: USA, Croatia

Living in a world of "limbo", waiting for legislation to catch up with reality.

We met in Miami Florida, and from the word "go", we knew that we were meant to be together. We have helped each other get through the good and bad of life. Without each other we know that we would not be here on this earth, we are each others strength. (photo; personal; Our marriage in Boston, 10/03/2008) Read more on David Lee Jones-Munoz Blog www.davidlylejones.blogspot.com

Tags: USA

I love her with all my heart. She is my world. Loosing her will break my heart. She is willing to do what is necessary to be with me but it doesn't seem to be enough. Our happiness is in the hands of someone else. (Photo; personal; taken outside my brothers band competition)

Tags: USA, Mexico

Another online friendship turned to love - that's our story. Heather and I were friends over our music myspace pages for a year before our conversations became romantic. Then, she flew to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada to meet me in person, and sparks flew. We have been inseparable since.

Countless flight back and forth, $5,000 in tickets, and a wedding ceremony later, Heather's application to immigrate to Canada is in process. In the meantime, I have been living here in Los Angeles as a non-resident alien for 6 months at a time, leaving for a few weeks and re-entering. Each time, feeling more anxious that I will not be permitted to enter. Each time, having to come up with back-up plans, on how to move my belongings back to Canada short notice, wondering if we'll get a knock at the door while I'm here, wondering where we will find the funds for an immediate deportation - all on top of the application and name change fees.

Heather decided to change her name. Everything went relatively smoothly, until it was time to change her passport. That is not permitted, thanks to the Defense of Marriage Act, recognizing only a marriage between a man and a woman. This means that for our upcoming trip to Calgary, Heather will have documents with one name and a passport with another, with obvious potential border issues. In order to get her name changed, we will need a certified court order from the state of California, an additional $350, and an additional application fee to change her name on her passport.

I love my country. I love Canada, and I feel so lucky to be able to have somewhere to call home that will accept her as my wife. But I also love the home we have created here in California. I love that it is her home, where she was raised, where her friends and family reside. I hate that she has to leave. That it is our only option, to be together legally, to create a life and family, safely, together.

When we woke on November 5th 2008, she held me and cried. I hate the shame she feels, in not being able to provide a safe place, in the only home she's ever known. We lived in separation, flying back and forth, spending money we didn't have on hope and determination that only love can provide. We live now in fear, of my being caught, deported, and banned from visiting my friends and family here.

Fear, of issues at the border with her passport, the safety her government has jeopardized in forcing her to have two last names on her identification. Fear of the future, what happens then? When we come to visit friends and family - what is the risk of my being detained on suspicion of trying to live here, because I'm married to a US citizen?

Soon, we will live in exile, from her country... as thankful as I am for the home we will have in mine, this is her home. This is what she's known her whole life. And because of who she loves, she can't stay. (Photo; personal; taken in Los Angeles)

Tags: USA, Canada

I am a US Citizen from North Carolina. I had never travelled far from my home State until I met my partner who happened to be a Chinese-Indonesian. I met him when I went to a barber school in 2000 and we have been together since. He tried to get a political asylum in 2002 on the ground of being gay in the most populous Moslem country. We hired a lawyer to represent us. We spent thousands of dollars and finally got interviewed in DC in 2003 but they could not decide whether to give him or not. They let the court to decide. We asked our lawyer what our chance was if we want to proceed with the court. Our lawyer said that our chance to get it in court probably just 3%. Since we only had 3% chance and the lawyer also asked for another $10,000 if we proceed. We decided not to proceed and my partner left the country voluntarily. We just had our Holy Union in our Church. We were devastated. He left The US in October 2003. We tried to move to Canada but since we did not have any relatives or job offers, it would be difficult. We were separated almost 2 years but in between I had a chance to visit him in Indonesia and tried to find a job there. Finally I found a job and moved to Indonesia in 2005 until now. I cannot believe that we have been together for 9 years now. We are still looking to move to another country. A year ago we start the process immigrating to Canada.

It is not easy to be a gay couple here in Indonesia but we manage to do it until now. We do not want to be separated anymore. Those 2 years being separated were horrible years for us. We need help but we do not know who can help us. Even my own country cannot help me. We are thankful that God still let us to be together until now and our Hope is just in Him. (Photo: We are very discreet, can't show real picture.)

Tags: USA, Indonesia

We have been together for over two years and were planning buying a place, moving in with each, creating a family. However my visa is expiring in a few months and my job is not willing to extend my visa so I have to return to the UK in two months. So soon we will be living separately. However I am writing a daily (as daily as possible! :) ) blog "Goodbye My Almost Lover ....I'll See You Soon NYC!" www.latersnyc.blogspot.com. Please come read, and show your support. (Photo: Personal, The two of us at the Blue Lagoon, Iceland March 2009. Fantastic Trip)

Tags: USA, UK

Stacy Beardsley and Karla Thomas met three and a half years ago at a friend's birthday party. Two months later, they were dating and now, three and half years after that night, they live together in a house in north Chicago with their two black labs Kobi and Maddi (just nine weeks old). They are like any other couple.

Stacy, a former public school principal, now works to design academic curricula for schools in the city. Karla is a engineering project manager for an international cosmetics company. At the end of the work day they might meet up with their neighbors to walk the dogs or work on the small yard in front of their home.

Two weeks ago Karla's entire department was eliminated due to cut costs and now, as a Trinidadian citizen on an H1B visa, she will have to leave the country once her employment terminates. She has only a few months to find a job that is willing to take on the burden and currently heavily publicized stigma of sponsoring a foreign worker on an H1B visa or she will be forced to return to Trinidad alone. Their story was supposed to go much differently. If Stacy and Karla were in an opposite-sex relationship they would be married and Stacy could sponsor Karla to remain in the country.

Stacy grimaces when Karla starts to talk about moving so far away. Sitting with Stacy and Karla, it is abundantly clear that these two women love each other very much.
In a few months, Karla will be forced to leave her partner, Kobi and her new puppy Maddi. Stacy will be left behind, only enjoying visits with Karla when she can travel overseas or Karla can acquire a visitor's visa to return home for a short stay.

Stacy and Karla's story is not unique, which only makes it harder to bear. No couple should be forced by government regulations to choose between their country, career and family and staying in the same place as the person they love. Read Story, Torn Apart by DOMA by Emma Ruby Sachs, Huffington Post.

Tags: USA, Trinidad

Tags: USA, Germany

On July 4 of 2005, a day when most Americans celebrated their unsurpassed freedoms and rights, Anton Anderssen was in Canada getting married - a right not afforded to him by U.S. federal law. Anderssen and his now-husband, Marcus, of Madison Heights, were married in Niagara-On-The-Lake, Ontario, because they were not free to marry anywhere in the U.S.

Now, they're facing problems with the law again and are fighting, along with many other couples and organizations, for the right to be together.
Anton and Marcus met on the internet near Valentine's Day of 2004. Marcus, a citizen of Italy, came to the states often on a travel visa to spend his vacation time from his job as a bank director with Anton. The two traveled to Las Vegas and Waikiki, took a cruise through the Caribbean and went to New England in autumn to see the foliage. On their last trip, Marcus proposed and they have since split their time between their homes in Michigan and Italy - when they're not traveling together.

Last month, however, their fairy tale-like love was torn apart as Marcus was forced to return to Italy. Currently, he is under investigation by U.S. Immigration, who have not, as of yet, decided whether or not he can return.
"Marco has a tourist visa, not a green card," Anderssen explained. "He is not allowed to live in the U.S., only pursue tourism." Read Story, "Border barriers to love Fighting for the simple right to be together" by Jessica Carreras, Between The Lines News.

(Photo: by Andrew Potter, Between The Lines News. Anton Anderssen hopes that one day his husband, Marcus will be able to return and live with him. The current immigration laws don not honor same-sex couples in any way.)

Tags: USA, Italy

Shirley Tan's calm and happy life — San Mateo County housewife, mother of twin 12-year-old boys, singing in the church choir — blew up at 6:30 a.m. on Jan. 28, with a knock on the front door.

Within minutes, the immigration agent standing there had the 43-year-old Tan in handcuffs. She is scheduled to be deported to her native Philippines on Friday.

If Jay Mercado, Tan's partner of 23 years and the mother of her sons, were a different gender, it's highly unlikely that knock ever would have come. As a U.S. citizen, Mercado could have sponsored a wedded spouse for legal permanent residency. But although Mercado and Tan married in San Francisco in 2004, federal law limits the definition of marriage to a man and a woman, and same-sex partners of U.S. citizens don't have a route to legal permanent residence extended to straight married couples. It might be too late for Tan and Mercado Read story, "Binational, same-sex couples face immigration problems" by Mike Swift, Mercury News.

(Photo: by Maria J. Avila, Mercury News. Shirley Tan and her twelve-year-old son Jashley Mercado solicit help from their Rev. Piers Lahey at the Church of the Good Shepherd in Pacifica on Saturday March 28, 2008. Tan, the mother of two boys, is scheduled to be deported to the Phillipines on Friday April 3.)

Watch Video 1
Watch Video 2

Tags: USA, Phillippines

It was early morning on March 13, 2000, when Leslie Bulbuk was awakened by a phone call from her partner, Marta Donayre.
"Marta told me her company was about to be acquired by a company in Texas and that she might be laid off due to job duplications," Bulbuk says. "She said I should find myself a nice American girl, someone who wouldn't have to leave the country if she lost her job."

Although Donayre had a H-1B visa—which allows professional workers from other countries to work in the United States for up to six years, she would have to return to her native Brazil if she was laid off and couldn't find a new job within 10 days. Bulbuk, a U.S. citizen, doesn't have the same legal rights to sponsor Donayre to stay in the United States as heterosexual U.S. citizens do.

"That was when we first felt the sting of discrimination against same-sex binational couples," Bulbuk says. Read story, "Immigration won't recognize gay unions" by I-chun Che, The Sun, January 29, 2003)

(Photo: by Jacqueline Ramseyer, The Sun. Marta Donayre (left), a Brazilian immigrant in the United States on asylum, and Leslie Bulbuk are co-founders of Love Sees No Borders, a Sunnyvale group that publicizes the plight of same-sex binational couples and their fight to remain together in the United States.)

Tags: USA, Brazil

Mel and Hans share a life in the East Bay -- where they are surrounded by friends, own a two-story home, have jobs they love. But after 25 years together, Mel, a U.S. citizen, still cannot sponsor Hans, a Dutch citizen, for permanent U.S. residency.
If they weren't gay, this would be easy.
U.S. citizens can sponsor their children, parents and spouses as immigrants. In the eyes of U.S. immigration law, Hans is none of the above.

"You can pretend, in some ways, that when you're gay and living in the Bay Area, you have equal status with heterosexuals. That is, until something as defined as this comes along," says Mel, a 56-year-old physical therapist. "You can really see the lines drawn, and it's painful, the very hypocrisy of it, the unfairness of it."

Hans, 44, moved to the United States in 1980 on a student visa. In 1996, by then a clinical psychologist, he exhausted his work visa. Now, he is here illegally, as are many others in the same situation who take extraordinary steps to keep their status a secret.

Mel and Hans insisted that only their first names be used for this article. Though immigration officials haven't knocked on their door, the two are careful. Air travel, both foreign and domestic, is out of the question.

"We are completely in limbo," says Mel. "On one hand, the government says it doesn't recognize your relationship -- you can only sponsor your partner through marriage. On the other hand, if I were to get married, the government says it's not valid, because we're gay. How can we win?" Read full story, Gay Lives in Limbo, US immigration laws leave binational couples in the lurch" by Jose Antonio Vargas, Chronicle Staff Writer, Sunday, January 11, 2004)

(Photo: by Chris Hardy, Chronicle. Mel (left), a U.S. citizen, and Hans, a native of the Netherlands, have been lovers for 25 years and share a home in the East Bay, but under U.S. immigration law Mel cannot sponsor Hans for permanent U.S. residency.)

Tags: USA, Netherlands

Chris moved to the U.S. from Canada in 1994 to attend graduate school in Hawaii. Following school, Chris moved to Albany, New York and then to San Francisco, where he currently lives. During this time, he's lived in the U.S. on a variety of visa types, including F-1 Student, TN, and H1-B work visas.

Chris met his husband, Tim, in 2001, and they were married in California in the summer of 2008. Friends and family were surprised to learn that Tim could not sponsor Chris for permanent residency once married, as would be the case if they were an opposite-sex couple.

Chris' current visa expires in 2010, and until recently, they were living under the cloud of the knowledge that he would have to leave the country at that time, with or without Tim, into an uncertain future for both of them. A few months ago, they learned that Chris' employer of eight years was finally going to sponsor him, and so he was one of the lucky few. Without this support, at the end of his visa, he would have to leave the home, job, family and life that he has created in America over the past fifteen years. This is the reality for most of whom are on non-immigrant visas in this country. We only wish to be treated equally to opposite-sex couples and have the ability to be sponsored by our husbands, wives, or life-partners. Visit Marriage Equality USA Bi-national Immigration (photo: personal; Tim and Chris together since: June 2001)

Tags: USA, Canada

I am currently an American Peace Corps volunteer serving in Ecuador. My story begins in June 2007, after a lifetime of dreaming of joining the Peace Corps. It was at this time that I moved to Ecuador in my attempt to serve my country and to make the world a better place. Less than a year into my two years of service, I met the love of my life Gabriela. Needless to say, it has been a worldwind love affair like one that is only seen in movies or in your dreams. Our relationship is still young and new, but I know, without a shadow of doubt, that I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I just wish my country, that I would die for, would give me that opportunity. With my two years of service in the Peace Corps quickly coming to an end, I live in fear daily of having to choose between my beloved country and the great love of my life. (photo: personal; "me and my beautiful Gabby", Lynnsey and Gabriela together since: February 2008)

Tags: USA, Ecuador

I am a US Citizen, a Vietnam Veteran, a home owner, a tax payer and a member in good standing in my community, yet I am not afforded the same rights as my neighbors because I am a man in love with another man.

In 2003 I met a young man from Australia. He was here on a Visitor's Visa and had run into some bad luck. He had been robbed, lied to, and had been so beat down by the system that he couldn't look anyone in the eye. He needed a place to stay and I took him in to help him get back on his feet. That was back in 2003 and we have been together ever since.

The only way I kept him in this country legally was to enroll him in school and the only way he can stay here is if he remains in school. When I met my Aussie I was dept free. Now I'm in dept to the turn of over 40 thousand, due to lawyer fees, tuition, application fees and supporting him. Because of his visa status he is not allowed to work, but he has no money to pay his tuition...a tuition that is elevated because he is an international student...a tuition I pay to a school that my taxes help support. Due to current immigration laws, I can not sponsor him for a resident alien card (green card), or adopt him because he is over 18. I can't marry him and as far as the US Government is concerned, we are total strangers, even though we have spent every night together.

I am an Electronics Field; Service Technician by trade. I am finding it harder and harder to justify staying in this country under the current conditions. If we move to Australia my partner could sponsor me. If we move to Canada we could marry. If we stay in the US I see no future for us. There are an estimated eighty thousand couples in our situation and every day more and more people in our situation are leaving the US. The US is losing talented people due to inequality of immigration law. We are being forced to choose between our country and the person we love. Since April 2006, around the world, there are twenty countries that allow same sex immigration or grant some sort of benefits to binational couples. But the "greatest country in the world" is behind in granting the same equality to gay Americans.

This is also a civil rights issue. If heterosexual "Joe Blow" down the street can walk across the border, marry a woman he has known for five minutes, bring her home and sponsor her for a Green card, why shouldn't I be allowed to sponsor someone I have spent years building a life with, someone that I am in love with, someone who brings me joy and peace, and someone who has made me a better person.

We are not asking for special rights we are asking for equal rights. We are asking for justice. I urge you to support the Uniting American Families Act and when voting on gay related issues such as same sex marriage, look in your heart and ask yourself whether your vote discriminates against, causes harm to or treats fellow Americans as second class citizens. (photo: personal; Randy and GJ together since: 2003)

Tags: USA

Tags: Youtube, gay immigration, equality