Work visa after work visa after work visa. That's the story of our trying to stay together. We're both in education and Charles will be on his 4th work visa to continue working as a teacher here in upstate NY. He's "in between" visas at the moment, which is the one-year hiatus that an H1B visa requires. That means, he can't work here or live here--he can only be a visitor--for a year before getting another H1B. We're fortunate when compared to some other people's situations because we don't have to take a plane to see each other and Charles can still come here as a "visitor." But we're always in fear of exactly how much "visiting" he can do without jeopardizing the required time outside of the U.S. In addition, he's ALWAYS interrogated at the U.S. border when coming from Canada, regardless of whether he has the visa or not.

Another annoying note: New York State teacher certification law requires citizenship or permanent residence in order to keep one's teacher certification. Charles' certification expired without the possibility of renewal because he lacks permanent residence. As a result, he's now had to take more courses and sit for more tests and will have to reapply for a NEW certification once he's completed these additional requirements. Always such a hurdle! The alternative, which is not being together, just isn't an option for us. (photo; personal; Ron and Charles; "Our civil marriage day, June 29, 2006, in Montreal, Quebec.")

Tags: USA, Canada

Update: We are a binational gay couple living in Toronto formerly in NJ, USA. We struggled for 6 years just to remain together. In early 2006 we were inspired to apply for residency in Canada because we yearned to be free, equal and safe from the tyranny of the right. This blog will be a mix of our immigration process, our daily lives and topics of interest like politics and religion. (Photo; personal; "Dating back in NYC 2002") Read Tom & Emilio's Blog "Canadian Hope" http://canadianhope.blogspot.com/



Previous: Tom met Emilio in 2002 and they have built a wonderful home together in New Jersey where Emilio has been welcomed into Tom’s family as their own. Emilio currently is in deportation proceedings. The final hearing on his deportation process, due in October, was stayed until February. Even though they are both ready to leave the United States at a moment's notice, such a thing will crush both of them. Tom, deeply committed to his family, would be emotionally torn by the separation from his loved ones in the U.S. They live in limbo now, since there is very little they can do to alter the circumstances they live in. Just waiting seems to be their approach, and they are keen on spending as much time as possible together. Read More [1] Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net/htmlsite/tomemilo.htm [2] Human Rights Watch; Publication: Family, Unvalued Discrimination, Denial, and the Fate of Binational Same-Sex Couples under U.S. Law. May 2006 ISBN:1-56432-336-6 Link: http://www.hrw.org/reports/2006/us0506/6.htm#_Toc132691972 (photo: Through Thick & Thin)

Tags: USA, Canada, Venezuela

Another online friendship turned to love - that's our story. Heather and I were friends over our music myspace pages for a year before our conversations became romantic. Then, she flew to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada to meet me in person, and sparks flew. We have been inseparable since.

Countless flight back and forth, $5,000 in tickets, and a wedding ceremony later, Heather's application to immigrate to Canada is in process. In the meantime, I have been living here in Los Angeles as a non-resident alien for 6 months at a time, leaving for a few weeks and re-entering. Each time, feeling more anxious that I will not be permitted to enter. Each time, having to come up with back-up plans, on how to move my belongings back to Canada short notice, wondering if we'll get a knock at the door while I'm here, wondering where we will find the funds for an immediate deportation - all on top of the application and name change fees.

Heather decided to change her name. Everything went relatively smoothly, until it was time to change her passport. That is not permitted, thanks to the Defense of Marriage Act, recognizing only a marriage between a man and a woman. This means that for our upcoming trip to Calgary, Heather will have documents with one name and a passport with another, with obvious potential border issues. In order to get her name changed, we will need a certified court order from the state of California, an additional $350, and an additional application fee to change her name on her passport.

I love my country. I love Canada, and I feel so lucky to be able to have somewhere to call home that will accept her as my wife. But I also love the home we have created here in California. I love that it is her home, where she was raised, where her friends and family reside. I hate that she has to leave. That it is our only option, to be together legally, to create a life and family, safely, together.

When we woke on November 5th 2008, she held me and cried. I hate the shame she feels, in not being able to provide a safe place, in the only home she's ever known. We lived in separation, flying back and forth, spending money we didn't have on hope and determination that only love can provide. We live now in fear, of my being caught, deported, and banned from visiting my friends and family here.

Fear, of issues at the border with her passport, the safety her government has jeopardized in forcing her to have two last names on her identification. Fear of the future, what happens then? When we come to visit friends and family - what is the risk of my being detained on suspicion of trying to live here, because I'm married to a US citizen?

Soon, we will live in exile, from her country... as thankful as I am for the home we will have in mine, this is her home. This is what she's known her whole life. And because of who she loves, she can't stay. (Photo; personal; taken in Los Angeles)

Tags: USA, Canada

Katharine Ebensteiner of Renton and her partner, Fabienne "Fei" Ruttimann, who lives in Switzerland, don't see any good options for them to live together in the United States. The women met in 2004 when both were enrolled in a studies-abroad program in Japan. On the walls of Ebensteiner's apartment are numerous photographs of Ruttimann and of the two women together.

Ebensteiner, 25, who works as a staff technician with a geotech engineering firm, said the relationship is the first real one she's had, and she knows that Ruttimann, 26, who will graduate from college in Switzerland next year, is the woman she wants to spend her life with. But the two have spent the past two years trying to figure out how to make that happen. "We get no training in high school about how to get your partner into the country," she said.

Immigration lottery. They are trying their luck with the immigration lottery, a long-shot, luck-of-the-draw system for awarding 55,000 green cards out of some 6 million applications worldwide each year. Ultimately, they believe, they'll have to relocate to Canada.

In the ongoing debate over immigration, she's been surprised to find cases like hers have received no attention. "Whenever I hear a report about immigration on the radio, on TV, I listen closely. ... "There's never any mention of this. It's pretty frustrating." Read story, "Gays find a struggle bringing partners into U.S.", Seattle Times.

(Photo: Personal, Katharine Ebensteiner, right, is trying the immigration lottery as a long-shot chance of getting a green card for her partner, Fabienne "Fei" Ruttimann. Seattle Times; 2007)

Tags: USA, Switzerland, Canada

Abbie Green and Sandra Campuzano sit at Denny's drinking cup after cup of coffee, talking about the twists that have led them here to Chihuahua. A million miles from where they want to be.

[In 1999], this couple — Green a U.S. citizen, Campuzano, a Mexican — met in cyberspace. Over time, their lives have taken on the feel of a virtual unreality.

Theirs is a story of trials and desperation, working every angle to obtain the required visas that will allow them to stay together. Along the way they have given up homes and jobs, found new owners for beloved pets. They have moved far from family and friends, then relocated a parent and grandparent to be near them, only to have to leave again.

They have gone from Phoenix, where they had hoped to make a life, to Canada, a country that welcomes same-gender partners, to Chihuahua, where they are struggling to get a T-shirt shop off the ground — all so they can live together legally in a way that makes economic sense. Read story, Immigration law divides gay couples, Partners left to make painful choice By Lisa Kennedy, The Denver Post.

(Photo: by RJ Sangosti, The Denver Post. Sandra Veronica Campuzano Trevizo, left, and partner Abbie Green share an emotional moment this month outside their apartment in Chihuahua, Mexico. The couple has gone from Phoenix to Canada to Chihuahua in an effort to stay together legally.)

Tags: USA, Mexico, Canada

Like many married couples, Pamela Hathaway and Lucie Ferrari chat and plan their day over their morning coffee. Unlike most spouses, they have to do so using videoconferencing, Skype calls over the Web or a telephone because they cannot legally be together.

Hathaway, 32, is a U.S. citizen. Ferrari, 40, is a French citizen whose work visa ran out a year ago, forcing her to quit her job as a teacher in Sun Prairie and leave the country. The couple married in Canada in January, but U.S. immigration policy doesn't recognize same-sex couples, even ones that have been legally married, so Hathaway cannot sponsor Ferrari for U.S. immigration.

So Ferrari calls Hathaway at their Madison home from more than 2,000 miles away in Vanderhoof, British Columbia, where she moved a year ago to teach French.

Hathaway shows Ferrari their three cats here in Madison or carries her laptop into the backyard to show progress in their garden. Sometimes, Hathaway said, one of them will decide to start dishes or laundry while they chat and the other will do the same so they feel like they're doing it "together."

"We try and bring some normalcy to our situation," Hathaway said. "But what's become normal now is really absurd if you think about it." Read story, "Immigration law separates same-sex couple" by Melanie Conklin, Wisconsin State Journal.

(Photo: Personal; Lucie Ferrari, left, and her partner Pamela Hathaway, who have been separated by U.S. immigration policy that does not allow U.S. citizens to sponsor their same-sex partners. The couple were married in Canada in January.)

Tags: USA, France, Canada

"Why I came here - Eleanor & Fumiko" Canada Embraces Love Exiles. Lesbians put down roots after 22 years in Limbo." Eleanor Batchelder, an American, and Fumiko Ohno of Tokyo lived that reality for 22 years until a year ago January, when the lesbian couple landed as permanent residents in Toronto – one of many "love exiles" settling here.
Same-sex marriages are legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Norway and South Africa, but these jurisdictions stipulate that at least one person in the partnership be a resident or citizen. Canada is unique because its immigration policy allows non-national gay couples – whether they are married or in a common-law relationship – to immigrate here legally.
Ohno, 60, fluent in Spanish, met Batchelder, 68, in 1986 while on a trip to New York. The two were just friends initially; Ohno knew Batchelder had three children and didn't expect her to be a lesbian. The rest is history. Read article Toronto Star - Watch Video

Tags: USA, Japan, Canada

I am a 2nd class US citizen and my partner is Canadian. We met and fell in love in July 1997. We lived together for 4 years in Canada, until I was turned back at the border for having a DUI in the US. Larry then landed a job in the US and his employer was going to sponsor him. We were doing everything legally. We lived together for 10 months in the US. Then 9/11 happened and he lost his job and was sent back to Canada. We have been living apart ever since. This has caused many financial hardships on both of us, as we gave up our lives to be together. We also had our phone tapped by the Bush administration. We have spent thousands in lawyer fees, only to come to the conclusion that we cannot be together. He will be able to retire early in 2 years, but will only be able to visit the US for 6 months out of the year. While this is better than most Binational couples, our lives will never be complete until UAFA passes. I am urging everyone to get involved and help get this law passed. We have been really patient until now, but we are fed up!

President Obama said he not only believes in Change, he believes in Action. He also stated that "Doing nothing is not an option...you didn't send me to Washington to do nothing. The time for action is now". Well, it is time for an uprising in this country if this law is not passed this year. This is affecting over 100,000 Binational Couples.

President Obama does not believe in gay marriage. I personaly don't care what you call it, as long as I can be with my life partner. We demand EQUAL FEDERAL RIGHTS! The time for Change is now!!! (photo; personal; "This is us in Miami...we try to do a family vacation once a year", Art and Larry together since: July 1997)

Tags: USA, Canada

Moving to a new place is never easy, and moving to a new country is even more difficult. I didn't want to leave the USA. However, to be with my same-sex partner of over 10 years, I had to make a choice--move to her home country of England, move to Canada where we are legally married, or break up. We chose Canada. This blog details the experiences I've had since moving to Canada, a country that is supposedly so similar to the US, but in reality is vastly different.

Ever since Sarah and I met in 1998, the US government could not have cared less about immigration rights for same-sex bi-national couples. Every year, bills were introduced to try to remedy the unfair and painful situations that so many of us experienced, but every year, Republicans ensured that these bills never left the committee room.

After all Sarah and I have been through, all the pain, separation, and expense, there is no way I can express how wonderful it feels to see our plight acknowledged in a formal government forum. So, I won't try.

Bi-national couples have long been the forgotten children of the gay-rights movement. However, we suffer just as much, if not more than the other GLBT Americans who are disadvantaged. We are the ones who are faced with the choice of having to move out of the US or be separated from our family members. Read more... "My Life in Exile de Facto" (photo: personal; at a soccer stadium in England; Mary and Sarah together since: 1998)

Tags: USA, Canada, England

Chris moved to the U.S. from Canada in 1994 to attend graduate school in Hawaii. Following school, Chris moved to Albany, New York and then to San Francisco, where he currently lives. During this time, he's lived in the U.S. on a variety of visa types, including F-1 Student, TN, and H1-B work visas.

Chris met his husband, Tim, in 2001, and they were married in California in the summer of 2008. Friends and family were surprised to learn that Tim could not sponsor Chris for permanent residency once married, as would be the case if they were an opposite-sex couple.

Chris' current visa expires in 2010, and until recently, they were living under the cloud of the knowledge that he would have to leave the country at that time, with or without Tim, into an uncertain future for both of them. A few months ago, they learned that Chris' employer of eight years was finally going to sponsor him, and so he was one of the lucky few. Without this support, at the end of his visa, he would have to leave the home, job, family and life that he has created in America over the past fifteen years. This is the reality for most of whom are on non-immigrant visas in this country. We only wish to be treated equally to opposite-sex couples and have the ability to be sponsored by our husbands, wives, or life-partners. Visit Marriage Equality USA Bi-national Immigration (photo: personal; Tim and Chris together since: June 2001)

Tags: USA, Canada