I want to start by saying this is probably one of the worst and best times in my life.

Last time I told you we were trying to figure out what to do to renew Fabienne's visa so she can stay longer. We decided to take another road-trip to Canada. This time to Cranbrook. I asked Fabienne when was the day her visa expired. She told me the date without looking at her passport. I asked her again, Are you sure? and she said yes. So we plan the trip for a day before her visa expired. We put our things in the car, and Dude's (my dog) and left. It was a beautiful day and we were having fun driving. For some weird reason I was very confident that everything was going to be ok like the last time.

We were at the Canadian border. They asked us for our passports. We waited anxiously in the car. The officer comes back and says: we can't let you go to Canada because her visa is one day late and we are not sure if the USA will let her go back. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told them we thought her visa expired the day after. They told us to park the car and to come inside. So we go inside and she showed us the date in the visa and yes, we were late for a few hours. I looked at Fabienne. I proceeded to try to persuade the Canadian border officer to let us go in Canada, I knew if we were sent to USA part there might be trouble. But she said: I can't let you go in Canada, you need to go back to the USA and talk to the border officer and make sure the paperwork is correct then you can come back. So we get in the car. I looked at Fabienne and asked her: why you told me that we were one day early? she said she got confused by the date since they read dates differently than in the USA. I told her that was a big mistake and that I wish I would have looked at her visa. I also told her, don't worry they probably just let us go because we are late just for hours. Inside of me I knew we were screwed but I was trying to calm her down cause I know she gets really nervous. Her fate was in hands of the Border Patrol officer. I was hoping we would get a good one but that was not the case.

So we are now in the line for the US border. They asked us for our passports and the reason why we were there. I told them that the Canadian side sent us back to make sure she can come back to the USA. They noticed her visa was late. The officer asked us to wait that he needed to talk to someone about it. He came back and said: please park your car and come inside. Then the interrogation began. I have never seen Fabienne so nervous. They asked her all kinds of questions. Why was she trying to go to Canada? Why she was in the USA? Where was staying at? What is her relationship with me? How is she supporting herself? Was she trying to go to Canada to renew her US visa? Does she have a plane ticket back to Germany? etc... They asked me a few questions as well. There were three officers. 2 of them were not so hardcore but there was one just trying to get any possible reason to deport Fabienne. First I thought it was completely unfair that they did not provide her with a translator. They were asking her all these technical questions that she had no idea what it meant. Then they took her to a separate room and asked me to wait outside. I knew this was bad. They asked me to search my car. I told them my dog is inside and they said just bring your dog with you. So I did. They searched everything and then left a huge mess for me to put back together. Fabienne was still inside and I had no access to her. Hours passed and passed and passed. almost 5 or 6 hours later an officer came outside and told me that she could not prove she had plane tickets to go back to Germany and that she was going to get deported. I started crying like a little girl. I could not belive this was happening. This was the worst that could happen...and it was happening. They told me all kinds of lies. They said the same thing happened to another German person a few weeks ago and he was back in the USA. They told me not to worry but they had to do this and that she was going to be able to come back. I have never had any kind of experience with this kind of situation. I had no idea what to do.

Finally around 8 or 9 hours later they said I could see her before they will transfer her to a jail. I asked why they are taking her to a jail. She is not a criminal i said. They told me that was procedure and they did not have special place for people getting deported. I started crying even more. They told me to wait outside until they bring her out. He also told me that she was going to be wearing handcuffs and leg cuffs while in the cop car as procedure but that they knew she was not a criminal. I was in shock. I could not believe they were doing this to her. They told me I could say goodbye to her and that I could visit her in the jail which was going to be in Kalispell. I asked them how long were they going to keep her in jail. They said that just a few days until they get the plane tickets and all the procedure done. So they bring her outside and let her smoke a cigarette with me while we say goodbye. I told her I would go visit her and do everything I can to help her. She was very scared. We were both crying. In fact i am crying right now just remembering this horrible time in our life. I could not believe my country was doing this to her. I found out how unfair and broken our immigration system is the hard way and so did she. Please take a look for the rest of our story on my blog, Bi-cultural love and immigration laws on Squidoo. (photo; personal; Waleska and Fabienne; "Fabienne and me in Germany")

Tags: USA, Germany

Tags: USA, Germany

The first two months of our lives together started out as what may resemble a typical love story. But suddenly we were catapulted into a world which is unfamiliar to most Americans.

Marco and I met on the internet. It's hard to explain the immediate connection we felt toward each other, but it was blatantly there. After only two months and literally thousands of typed pages later, I was on my way to Europe for the first time. I had never had much interest in Germany. I would have much rather been heading to some place a little more exotic, but I was following my heart which didn't lend me much choice.

It's hard to look your best and refreshed after such a long flight, but it didn't matter....even though we were meeting face to face for the first time. What I was about to experience would become the best day of my life. My dreams were finally coming true and I didn't realize it at the time, but I would learn to love Germany.

A few weeks later, Marco was on his way to New Orleans. Even though I have spent most of my life in big cities, I've always been a country boy at heart and I knew that he would have to accept that part of me, not to mention...tolerate my boisterous and at times "difficult" family. I probably over did it his first trip though. New Orleans can be challenging for anyone, but I decided to culturally submerge him anyway. From Bourbon Street to alligator infested canoe trips, snakes and being awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by some of the loudest insects on the planet...none of it was too shocking for him. I felt like I was experiencing life...for the very first time. After my family didn't send him packing...I was really in love. I would need no more convincing that he was the one for me. It was the first time my family had seen me truly happy. I had always wanted that. I wish my mom had had the chance to see it too.

Marco was immediately accepted as part of the family. But, it was all about the same time that we were catapulted into the very frightening world of being a bi-national gay couple. Being American, I thought I would find a way for us, because our "system" protects it's own, but I couldn't. We were torn, and our hearts were ripped to peices. Dead end after dead end, we knew It would not be easy for us. His visa was running out soon and I would have to figure out a way once we got back to Germany. The only thing I knew for certain at that point was that we would not be separated.

That will soon be six years ago. We have exhausted every legally imaginable route possible trying to figure out a way to return, but it isn't going to happen. After Hurricane Katrina, Marco got a 3 month visa. We sold everything, quit our jobs and went home to help my family clean up. The 3 months went by fast and 3 days before his visa was to expire (again) we had to say goodbye to our family. We didn't have anything to return to in Germany, so we threw on our backpacks and for the next year headed south...all the way to Costa Rica. We knew we couldn't do this forever, but it was nice to escape the feeling that America and it's people had completely turned their back on us. We really didn't have many other options either.

Dad called us in Costa Rica and said he was getting married. Mom had died a few years before and he was 68. I was excited to be his "best man", but the day we returned home through Houston was not our lucky day. To make a long story short, Marco's previous stay was being questioned. Marco explained his purpose of being in America a year before and that he had been there to help my family clean up after Hurricane Katrina. But immigration officials didn't buy it and accused him of "working for room and board" and went on to say that what he had done was against federal immigration law. He couldn't tell them that I was supporting him, that would have made it even worse. They physically separated us for the first time in our lives. Grant it...it was only for a day, but it was the day we decided to leave America for good.

As an American, it is excruciatingly painful to wake up and realize that you are purposefully being excluded from the pursuit of happiness, not to mention, life, liberty and justice for all. But, for the sake of sanity; for the time being, we've had to put that part of our lives far behind us. We packed up our hopes, our dreams and our money and returned to Germany, because we knew it would be a safe place for us. We were both desperate for some sense of normalcy too.

We're married now and we both have jobs here. I quit resisting and finally learned the language. Munich is our home. Perhaps, one day, we will return to America, but not until we have the freedom to do so...as a family. (photo: personal; Mardi Gras 2005, Patrick and Marco together since: March 2004)

Tags: USA, Germany

Gay Marriage: Until Deportation Do Us Part?
By Mary Milliken
Reuters
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Rita Boyadjian wishes she were in a better mood to celebrate the weddings of fellow gay friends after California began legally marrying same-sex couples last month.But her partner of six years is a German woman whose U.S. student visa runs out soon. Even if they were to legally marry in California, Margot (not her real name) could not stay in the United States because the federal government does not recognize same-sex marriage for immigration purposes. This month the well-to-do couple and their nine-month-old baby will move to Germany so they....read more uk.Reuters.com (photo: Reuters)

Tags: USA, Germany, Reuters, gay immigration, equality