I want to start by saying this is probably one of the worst and best times in my life.

Last time I told you we were trying to figure out what to do to renew Fabienne's visa so she can stay longer. We decided to take another road-trip to Canada. This time to Cranbrook. I asked Fabienne when was the day her visa expired. She told me the date without looking at her passport. I asked her again, Are you sure? and she said yes. So we plan the trip for a day before her visa expired. We put our things in the car, and Dude's (my dog) and left. It was a beautiful day and we were having fun driving. For some weird reason I was very confident that everything was going to be ok like the last time.

We were at the Canadian border. They asked us for our passports. We waited anxiously in the car. The officer comes back and says: we can't let you go to Canada because her visa is one day late and we are not sure if the USA will let her go back. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told them we thought her visa expired the day after. They told us to park the car and to come inside. So we go inside and she showed us the date in the visa and yes, we were late for a few hours. I looked at Fabienne. I proceeded to try to persuade the Canadian border officer to let us go in Canada, I knew if we were sent to USA part there might be trouble. But she said: I can't let you go in Canada, you need to go back to the USA and talk to the border officer and make sure the paperwork is correct then you can come back. So we get in the car. I looked at Fabienne and asked her: why you told me that we were one day early? she said she got confused by the date since they read dates differently than in the USA. I told her that was a big mistake and that I wish I would have looked at her visa. I also told her, don't worry they probably just let us go because we are late just for hours. Inside of me I knew we were screwed but I was trying to calm her down cause I know she gets really nervous. Her fate was in hands of the Border Patrol officer. I was hoping we would get a good one but that was not the case.

So we are now in the line for the US border. They asked us for our passports and the reason why we were there. I told them that the Canadian side sent us back to make sure she can come back to the USA. They noticed her visa was late. The officer asked us to wait that he needed to talk to someone about it. He came back and said: please park your car and come inside. Then the interrogation began. I have never seen Fabienne so nervous. They asked her all kinds of questions. Why was she trying to go to Canada? Why she was in the USA? Where was staying at? What is her relationship with me? How is she supporting herself? Was she trying to go to Canada to renew her US visa? Does she have a plane ticket back to Germany? etc... They asked me a few questions as well. There were three officers. 2 of them were not so hardcore but there was one just trying to get any possible reason to deport Fabienne. First I thought it was completely unfair that they did not provide her with a translator. They were asking her all these technical questions that she had no idea what it meant. Then they took her to a separate room and asked me to wait outside. I knew this was bad. They asked me to search my car. I told them my dog is inside and they said just bring your dog with you. So I did. They searched everything and then left a huge mess for me to put back together. Fabienne was still inside and I had no access to her. Hours passed and passed and passed. almost 5 or 6 hours later an officer came outside and told me that she could not prove she had plane tickets to go back to Germany and that she was going to get deported. I started crying like a little girl. I could not belive this was happening. This was the worst that could happen...and it was happening. They told me all kinds of lies. They said the same thing happened to another German person a few weeks ago and he was back in the USA. They told me not to worry but they had to do this and that she was going to be able to come back. I have never had any kind of experience with this kind of situation. I had no idea what to do.

Finally around 8 or 9 hours later they said I could see her before they will transfer her to a jail. I asked why they are taking her to a jail. She is not a criminal i said. They told me that was procedure and they did not have special place for people getting deported. I started crying even more. They told me to wait outside until they bring her out. He also told me that she was going to be wearing handcuffs and leg cuffs while in the cop car as procedure but that they knew she was not a criminal. I was in shock. I could not believe they were doing this to her. They told me I could say goodbye to her and that I could visit her in the jail which was going to be in Kalispell. I asked them how long were they going to keep her in jail. They said that just a few days until they get the plane tickets and all the procedure done. So they bring her outside and let her smoke a cigarette with me while we say goodbye. I told her I would go visit her and do everything I can to help her. She was very scared. We were both crying. In fact i am crying right now just remembering this horrible time in our life. I could not believe my country was doing this to her. I found out how unfair and broken our immigration system is the hard way and so did she. Please take a look for the rest of our story on my blog, Bi-cultural love and immigration laws on Squidoo. (photo; personal; Waleska and Fabienne; "Fabienne and me in Germany")

Tags: USA, Germany

Work visa after work visa after work visa. That's the story of our trying to stay together. We're both in education and Charles will be on his 4th work visa to continue working as a teacher here in upstate NY. He's "in between" visas at the moment, which is the one-year hiatus that an H1B visa requires. That means, he can't work here or live here--he can only be a visitor--for a year before getting another H1B. We're fortunate when compared to some other people's situations because we don't have to take a plane to see each other and Charles can still come here as a "visitor." But we're always in fear of exactly how much "visiting" he can do without jeopardizing the required time outside of the U.S. In addition, he's ALWAYS interrogated at the U.S. border when coming from Canada, regardless of whether he has the visa or not.

Another annoying note: New York State teacher certification law requires citizenship or permanent residence in order to keep one's teacher certification. Charles' certification expired without the possibility of renewal because he lacks permanent residence. As a result, he's now had to take more courses and sit for more tests and will have to reapply for a NEW certification once he's completed these additional requirements. Always such a hurdle! The alternative, which is not being together, just isn't an option for us. (photo; personal; Ron and Charles; "Our civil marriage day, June 29, 2006, in Montreal, Quebec.")

Tags: USA, Canada

I, Angie (US national) met Estefania (Spanish national) while we were both living in London in early 2009. At the time I was on a two year visa which expired on March 5, 2010. We tried everything we could to keep me in the UK but there was no hope due to the status of my previous visa. I packed my belongs and left behind the life I had built for myself but most important I left behind the woman I love and moved back to the US on March 10, 2010. While Estefania has since returned back to Spain to try and obtain a student visa, we are now about to walk down the long road that so many bi-national couples in America are walking down. OUCH!!! This really hurts!! (photo; personal; Angie and Estefania; "...taken in London where we first met.")

Tags: USA, Spain

We are coming to the end of the legal student options...we actually have about two years left so it's not as bad as other stories. We are hoping that this year will be the year we get Diversity Visa Lotto! (We can dream!)

We dont know what we will do at the end of the Student Visa. Croatia doesn't offer gay marriage and neither does the US. So we talked last week for the first time about whether or not we might have to end our relationship. We usually have held on to the hope of the Diversity Visa or Federal Marriage. I guess, we must explore all the things that could happen...even though we mostly try to just live for today.

I am hoping that if there is a Gay loving God that he knows how amazing this is for us and how good we are and that we deserve to be together just like anybody else. (photo; personal; Eric and Neto in Utah)

Tags: USA, Croatia

My name is Javier. I am a 27 years old Mexican gay guy who fell in love with a beautiful 36 years old Puerto Rican. We meet in Dallas, Texas a couple of years ago and immediately fell in love. We started living together shortly after a few months of dating. After this period of time, I decided to move to Puerto Rico with him on a tourist visa. Before my I-94 expired, I went back to Mexico to apply for a student visa. My student visa petition was denied and my tourist visa was revoked. Since then, we have been living in a nightmare. He lives in Puerto Rico and I live in Mexico. We live every day separated from each other, because we have been trying to get my student visa so we can be together. We are so desperate...hopeless... and we cant wait to be together as soon as possible. We will fight 'til the end. We won't give up. But sometimes, even when we both try very hard to stay calm, somedays we just can't. I hope we can find the fastest way to be together soon. WE ARE ALL EQUAL. WE ARE NOT SECOND CLASS CITIZENS. WE DESERVE THE SAME RIGHTS. We send all our support to all the couples out there who live in the same situation. I'm also writing this to express to my boyfriend, THAT I LOVE HIM VERY VERY MUCH. MY HOPE IS FOR GOD TO HELP US ALL!!..GOD BLESS YOU!!..(photo; personal; Me and my beautiful Puerto Rican boyfriend at some bar loving each other very much!!)

Tags: USA, Mexico

Update: We are a binational gay couple living in Toronto formerly in NJ, USA. We struggled for 6 years just to remain together. In early 2006 we were inspired to apply for residency in Canada because we yearned to be free, equal and safe from the tyranny of the right. This blog will be a mix of our immigration process, our daily lives and topics of interest like politics and religion. (Photo; personal; "Dating back in NYC 2002") Read Tom & Emilio's Blog "Canadian Hope" http://canadianhope.blogspot.com/



Previous: Tom met Emilio in 2002 and they have built a wonderful home together in New Jersey where Emilio has been welcomed into Tom’s family as their own. Emilio currently is in deportation proceedings. The final hearing on his deportation process, due in October, was stayed until February. Even though they are both ready to leave the United States at a moment's notice, such a thing will crush both of them. Tom, deeply committed to his family, would be emotionally torn by the separation from his loved ones in the U.S. They live in limbo now, since there is very little they can do to alter the circumstances they live in. Just waiting seems to be their approach, and they are keen on spending as much time as possible together. Read More [1] Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net/htmlsite/tomemilo.htm [2] Human Rights Watch; Publication: Family, Unvalued Discrimination, Denial, and the Fate of Binational Same-Sex Couples under U.S. Law. May 2006 ISBN:1-56432-336-6 Link: http://www.hrw.org/reports/2006/us0506/6.htm#_Toc132691972 (photo: Through Thick & Thin)

Tags: USA, Canada, Venezuela

Living in a world of "limbo", waiting for legislation to catch up with reality.

We met in Miami Florida, and from the word "go", we knew that we were meant to be together. We have helped each other get through the good and bad of life. Without each other we know that we would not be here on this earth, we are each others strength. (photo; personal; Our marriage in Boston, 10/03/2008) Read more on David Lee Jones-Munoz Blog www.davidlylejones.blogspot.com

Tags: USA

We met through a mutual friend. Fell in love instantly. First meeting we were inseparable for 2 weeks. We cried when I had to leave. He thought I would be gone forever. I called him from Hawaii and he cried but it was a happy cry, because he knew we fell in love. It was very emotional. Today we are separated by many miles of water, many islands and countries. We meet online now 2 times a day for an hour at a time. I can financially only visit him on occasion. We wish that we could live in the USA but without the immigration laws to change it would force us to move elswhere. I will go back in September. I just wish he was coming back with me. Time passes. Our love is so strong....

(Photo; personal; "The Philippines our first happiness together. My LOVE. Sometimes I think we will be separated forever because my country is to slow to regognize that we are human and need to be with each other. Our bonding is a true bonding of love. Time passes but our love is strong. He is Filipino, Me American.")

Tags: USA, Phillippines

I am a gay man, US citizen, 38 years old and I currently reside in Amsterdam, The Netherlands. I am in a same-sex relationship with the love of my life. He is a German citizen and 33 years old.

We first met in 2000 in San Francisco, California. Long story short, we ended up in Amsterdam, The Netherlands, but want to return to California, but we cannot due to discriminatory US immigration laws. Read about James and Matt on their blog American in Amsterdam Gay U.S. Citizen living in exile due to discriminatory U.S. immigration laws. http://jamesonthecanal.blogspot.com (Photo; personal; "This is a pic of me, my partner is purposefully left out.")

Tags: USA, The Netherlands

I love her with all my heart. She is my world. Loosing her will break my heart. She is willing to do what is necessary to be with me but it doesn't seem to be enough. Our happiness is in the hands of someone else. (Photo; personal; taken outside my brothers band competition)

Tags: USA, Mexico

Another online friendship turned to love - that's our story. Heather and I were friends over our music myspace pages for a year before our conversations became romantic. Then, she flew to Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada to meet me in person, and sparks flew. We have been inseparable since.

Countless flight back and forth, $5,000 in tickets, and a wedding ceremony later, Heather's application to immigrate to Canada is in process. In the meantime, I have been living here in Los Angeles as a non-resident alien for 6 months at a time, leaving for a few weeks and re-entering. Each time, feeling more anxious that I will not be permitted to enter. Each time, having to come up with back-up plans, on how to move my belongings back to Canada short notice, wondering if we'll get a knock at the door while I'm here, wondering where we will find the funds for an immediate deportation - all on top of the application and name change fees.

Heather decided to change her name. Everything went relatively smoothly, until it was time to change her passport. That is not permitted, thanks to the Defense of Marriage Act, recognizing only a marriage between a man and a woman. This means that for our upcoming trip to Calgary, Heather will have documents with one name and a passport with another, with obvious potential border issues. In order to get her name changed, we will need a certified court order from the state of California, an additional $350, and an additional application fee to change her name on her passport.

I love my country. I love Canada, and I feel so lucky to be able to have somewhere to call home that will accept her as my wife. But I also love the home we have created here in California. I love that it is her home, where she was raised, where her friends and family reside. I hate that she has to leave. That it is our only option, to be together legally, to create a life and family, safely, together.

When we woke on November 5th 2008, she held me and cried. I hate the shame she feels, in not being able to provide a safe place, in the only home she's ever known. We lived in separation, flying back and forth, spending money we didn't have on hope and determination that only love can provide. We live now in fear, of my being caught, deported, and banned from visiting my friends and family here.

Fear, of issues at the border with her passport, the safety her government has jeopardized in forcing her to have two last names on her identification. Fear of the future, what happens then? When we come to visit friends and family - what is the risk of my being detained on suspicion of trying to live here, because I'm married to a US citizen?

Soon, we will live in exile, from her country... as thankful as I am for the home we will have in mine, this is her home. This is what she's known her whole life. And because of who she loves, she can't stay. (Photo; personal; taken in Los Angeles)

Tags: USA, Canada

Before she fell in love with Hollender, the 30-year-old Fortner knew about the restrictive visa possibilities, but never thought it would affect her directly. “I was just hoping that be 2009 that it would be resolved,” she says, “but I guess not…” The separation has been difficult to endure, but the couple has made it so far: “That hasn’t stopped either of us from crossing oceans for our love.” Nor has it deterred her from aligning family, friends and friends of the GLBT community to help support efforts to change U.S. immigration policies dealing with same-sex couples. Each of them makes it a point to alert their social circles about legislation they find discriminatory. Luckily, they’re not alone.

Great news for Fortner, who says legally residing with Hollender will help her once again believe in the American dream. “I am only trying to have the same right as my neighbors if they were in my predicament,” she says. “I waited a lifetime for this type of love. I want to share my life with Kelly for more than a few moments at a time.” Read Story, Local singer Shannon Fortner is separated from her partner thanks to U.S. policy toward same-sex couples, but new legislation might allow the two to live together year-round by Cooper Levey-Baker and and Anthony Paull for Creative Loafing

(Photo, personal; Creative Loafing)

Tags: USA, United Kingdom

I am a US Citizen from North Carolina. I had never travelled far from my home State until I met my partner who happened to be a Chinese-Indonesian. I met him when I went to a barber school in 2000 and we have been together since. He tried to get a political asylum in 2002 on the ground of being gay in the most populous Moslem country. We hired a lawyer to represent us. We spent thousands of dollars and finally got interviewed in DC in 2003 but they could not decide whether to give him or not. They let the court to decide. We asked our lawyer what our chance was if we want to proceed with the court. Our lawyer said that our chance to get it in court probably just 3%. Since we only had 3% chance and the lawyer also asked for another $10,000 if we proceed. We decided not to proceed and my partner left the country voluntarily. We just had our Holy Union in our Church. We were devastated. He left The US in October 2003. We tried to move to Canada but since we did not have any relatives or job offers, it would be difficult. We were separated almost 2 years but in between I had a chance to visit him in Indonesia and tried to find a job there. Finally I found a job and moved to Indonesia in 2005 until now. I cannot believe that we have been together for 9 years now. We are still looking to move to another country. A year ago we start the process immigrating to Canada.

It is not easy to be a gay couple here in Indonesia but we manage to do it until now. We do not want to be separated anymore. Those 2 years being separated were horrible years for us. We need help but we do not know who can help us. Even my own country cannot help me. We are thankful that God still let us to be together until now and our Hope is just in Him. (Photo: We are very discreet, can't show real picture.)

Tags: USA, Indonesia

We have been together for over two years and were planning buying a place, moving in with each, creating a family. However my visa is expiring in a few months and my job is not willing to extend my visa so I have to return to the UK in two months. So soon we will be living separately. However I am writing a daily (as daily as possible! :) ) blog "Goodbye My Almost Lover ....I'll See You Soon NYC!" www.latersnyc.blogspot.com. Please come read, and show your support. (Photo: Personal, The two of us at the Blue Lagoon, Iceland March 2009. Fantastic Trip)

Tags: USA, UK

Stacy Beardsley and Karla Thomas met three and a half years ago at a friend's birthday party. Two months later, they were dating and now, three and half years after that night, they live together in a house in north Chicago with their two black labs Kobi and Maddi (just nine weeks old). They are like any other couple.

Stacy, a former public school principal, now works to design academic curricula for schools in the city. Karla is a engineering project manager for an international cosmetics company. At the end of the work day they might meet up with their neighbors to walk the dogs or work on the small yard in front of their home.

Two weeks ago Karla's entire department was eliminated due to cut costs and now, as a Trinidadian citizen on an H1B visa, she will have to leave the country once her employment terminates. She has only a few months to find a job that is willing to take on the burden and currently heavily publicized stigma of sponsoring a foreign worker on an H1B visa or she will be forced to return to Trinidad alone. Their story was supposed to go much differently. If Stacy and Karla were in an opposite-sex relationship they would be married and Stacy could sponsor Karla to remain in the country.

Stacy grimaces when Karla starts to talk about moving so far away. Sitting with Stacy and Karla, it is abundantly clear that these two women love each other very much.
In a few months, Karla will be forced to leave her partner, Kobi and her new puppy Maddi. Stacy will be left behind, only enjoying visits with Karla when she can travel overseas or Karla can acquire a visitor's visa to return home for a short stay.

Stacy and Karla's story is not unique, which only makes it harder to bear. No couple should be forced by government regulations to choose between their country, career and family and staying in the same place as the person they love. Read Story, Torn Apart by DOMA by Emma Ruby Sachs, Huffington Post.

Tags: USA, Trinidad

Tags: USA, Germany

Katharine Ebensteiner of Renton and her partner, Fabienne "Fei" Ruttimann, who lives in Switzerland, don't see any good options for them to live together in the United States. The women met in 2004 when both were enrolled in a studies-abroad program in Japan. On the walls of Ebensteiner's apartment are numerous photographs of Ruttimann and of the two women together.

Ebensteiner, 25, who works as a staff technician with a geotech engineering firm, said the relationship is the first real one she's had, and she knows that Ruttimann, 26, who will graduate from college in Switzerland next year, is the woman she wants to spend her life with. But the two have spent the past two years trying to figure out how to make that happen. "We get no training in high school about how to get your partner into the country," she said.

Immigration lottery. They are trying their luck with the immigration lottery, a long-shot, luck-of-the-draw system for awarding 55,000 green cards out of some 6 million applications worldwide each year. Ultimately, they believe, they'll have to relocate to Canada.

In the ongoing debate over immigration, she's been surprised to find cases like hers have received no attention. "Whenever I hear a report about immigration on the radio, on TV, I listen closely. ... "There's never any mention of this. It's pretty frustrating." Read story, "Gays find a struggle bringing partners into U.S.", Seattle Times.

(Photo: Personal, Katharine Ebensteiner, right, is trying the immigration lottery as a long-shot chance of getting a green card for her partner, Fabienne "Fei" Ruttimann. Seattle Times; 2007)

Tags: USA, Switzerland, Canada

American Gordon Stewart stands in his gutted London flat that he hopes will be a home for him and his Brazilian partner, Marcos, who isn't allowed to enter the U.S. Stewart's employer, Pfizer, has helped make it possible for them to live together in London, where Marcos has the right to work and health-care benefits.

A U.S. citizen, the 47-year-old Pfizer marketing exec had planned to live and work in New York until he retired. His parents are deceased, and his sisters and brother, nieces and nephews live in the U.S., as do most of his life-long friends.

When Marcos called Stewart from São Paulo to tell him his routine student-visa renewal turned out to be anything but, Stewart had worked for Pfizer for more than seven years.

Marcos' student visa wasn't renewed, they were told, because the consulate didn't think he was in the U.S. as a legitimate student. He wasn't married, he was nearing 40, and Stewart, his financial sponsor, wasn't married and was over 40.

It took time. And over the next 17 months, Stewart flew to Brazil 34 times. Eventually he was offered a position in England. His partner could move there and join him, legally. In 2005, Stewart and Marcos moved to London. Neither is a U.K. citizen.

"The outrage is the amount of taxes you as an American have to pay and then your partner isn't even allowed to come here," says Stewart. Read story, Immigration law divides gay couples, Partners left to make painful choice By Lisa Kennedy, The Denver Post.

(Photo: by Cate Gillon, Getty Images. "I still hope that one day we'll have the choice to live in the U.S.," says Gordon Stewart. )

Tags: USA, Brazil, United Kingdom

On July 4 of 2005, a day when most Americans celebrated their unsurpassed freedoms and rights, Anton Anderssen was in Canada getting married - a right not afforded to him by U.S. federal law. Anderssen and his now-husband, Marcus, of Madison Heights, were married in Niagara-On-The-Lake, Ontario, because they were not free to marry anywhere in the U.S.

Now, they're facing problems with the law again and are fighting, along with many other couples and organizations, for the right to be together.
Anton and Marcus met on the internet near Valentine's Day of 2004. Marcus, a citizen of Italy, came to the states often on a travel visa to spend his vacation time from his job as a bank director with Anton. The two traveled to Las Vegas and Waikiki, took a cruise through the Caribbean and went to New England in autumn to see the foliage. On their last trip, Marcus proposed and they have since split their time between their homes in Michigan and Italy - when they're not traveling together.

Last month, however, their fairy tale-like love was torn apart as Marcus was forced to return to Italy. Currently, he is under investigation by U.S. Immigration, who have not, as of yet, decided whether or not he can return.
"Marco has a tourist visa, not a green card," Anderssen explained. "He is not allowed to live in the U.S., only pursue tourism." Read Story, "Border barriers to love Fighting for the simple right to be together" by Jessica Carreras, Between The Lines News.

(Photo: by Andrew Potter, Between The Lines News. Anton Anderssen hopes that one day his husband, Marcus will be able to return and live with him. The current immigration laws don not honor same-sex couples in any way.)

Tags: USA, Italy

Abbie Green and Sandra Campuzano sit at Denny's drinking cup after cup of coffee, talking about the twists that have led them here to Chihuahua. A million miles from where they want to be.

[In 1999], this couple — Green a U.S. citizen, Campuzano, a Mexican — met in cyberspace. Over time, their lives have taken on the feel of a virtual unreality.

Theirs is a story of trials and desperation, working every angle to obtain the required visas that will allow them to stay together. Along the way they have given up homes and jobs, found new owners for beloved pets. They have moved far from family and friends, then relocated a parent and grandparent to be near them, only to have to leave again.

They have gone from Phoenix, where they had hoped to make a life, to Canada, a country that welcomes same-gender partners, to Chihuahua, where they are struggling to get a T-shirt shop off the ground — all so they can live together legally in a way that makes economic sense. Read story, Immigration law divides gay couples, Partners left to make painful choice By Lisa Kennedy, The Denver Post.

(Photo: by RJ Sangosti, The Denver Post. Sandra Veronica Campuzano Trevizo, left, and partner Abbie Green share an emotional moment this month outside their apartment in Chihuahua, Mexico. The couple has gone from Phoenix to Canada to Chihuahua in an effort to stay together legally.)

Tags: USA, Mexico, Canada

We met back in July 2005 via Yahoo! personals. It seemed like an odd way to meet; but whatever works. After about 3 months I got on a plane to Manila and we met in person. We are both Certified Rescue Scuba Divers. We go diving together all the time when I am [in Manila]. In October 2007 I was with him for a month. We went diving in Thailand and then the Philippines for a couple weeks.

We have tried to immigrate to New Zealand, but his visa even failed for that country. So we are really stuck now. It seems the only option is to endure the long distance, seeing each other occasionally and having the internet to keep us connected daily. The only way for us to get fair immigration policies is via the courts. After 2 years and 8 trips to the Philippines from the States, I don't know how much longer we can wait on things to change. I know it's tough for all of us in this situation. Find Gregg and Carlos' story on about.com's "gay life" gallery by Ramon Johnson.

(Photo: Personal, Gregg Walls, Gregg and Carlos)

Tags: USA, Phillippines

Bryan (left) and Roger were married two years ago in the U.K. where gay marriage is legal. The previously binational couple has been together for 15 years. Even an ocean couldn't keep these love 'mos apart. Bryan is from New York City and Roger is a resident of the U.K. To the left is their official wedding announcement photo.

Find Bryan and Roger's story on about.com's "gay life" gallery by Ramon Johnson. (Photo: Personal, Bryan Murphy)

Tags: USA, UK

One loving family torn apart from two different countries.
America & United Kingdom.
Two loving dads.
Two Daughters.
Then we came back to the UK...
And we became homeless.
We're still fighting to stay together!
Leaving...but, we're forced to say goodbye.
Please help support UAFA (Uniting American Families Act)
And keep families together!

Same sex couples if one's from America and the others from another country are not allowed to live together! the UAFA will allow them to have the same rights ....please support this cause.

Tags: USA, United Kingdom

Shirley Tan's calm and happy life — San Mateo County housewife, mother of twin 12-year-old boys, singing in the church choir — blew up at 6:30 a.m. on Jan. 28, with a knock on the front door.

Within minutes, the immigration agent standing there had the 43-year-old Tan in handcuffs. She is scheduled to be deported to her native Philippines on Friday.

If Jay Mercado, Tan's partner of 23 years and the mother of her sons, were a different gender, it's highly unlikely that knock ever would have come. As a U.S. citizen, Mercado could have sponsored a wedded spouse for legal permanent residency. But although Mercado and Tan married in San Francisco in 2004, federal law limits the definition of marriage to a man and a woman, and same-sex partners of U.S. citizens don't have a route to legal permanent residence extended to straight married couples. It might be too late for Tan and Mercado Read story, "Binational, same-sex couples face immigration problems" by Mike Swift, Mercury News.

(Photo: by Maria J. Avila, Mercury News. Shirley Tan and her twelve-year-old son Jashley Mercado solicit help from their Rev. Piers Lahey at the Church of the Good Shepherd in Pacifica on Saturday March 28, 2008. Tan, the mother of two boys, is scheduled to be deported to the Phillipines on Friday April 3.)

Watch Video 1
Watch Video 2

Tags: USA, Phillippines

Like many married couples, Pamela Hathaway and Lucie Ferrari chat and plan their day over their morning coffee. Unlike most spouses, they have to do so using videoconferencing, Skype calls over the Web or a telephone because they cannot legally be together.

Hathaway, 32, is a U.S. citizen. Ferrari, 40, is a French citizen whose work visa ran out a year ago, forcing her to quit her job as a teacher in Sun Prairie and leave the country. The couple married in Canada in January, but U.S. immigration policy doesn't recognize same-sex couples, even ones that have been legally married, so Hathaway cannot sponsor Ferrari for U.S. immigration.

So Ferrari calls Hathaway at their Madison home from more than 2,000 miles away in Vanderhoof, British Columbia, where she moved a year ago to teach French.

Hathaway shows Ferrari their three cats here in Madison or carries her laptop into the backyard to show progress in their garden. Sometimes, Hathaway said, one of them will decide to start dishes or laundry while they chat and the other will do the same so they feel like they're doing it "together."

"We try and bring some normalcy to our situation," Hathaway said. "But what's become normal now is really absurd if you think about it." Read story, "Immigration law separates same-sex couple" by Melanie Conklin, Wisconsin State Journal.

(Photo: Personal; Lucie Ferrari, left, and her partner Pamela Hathaway, who have been separated by U.S. immigration policy that does not allow U.S. citizens to sponsor their same-sex partners. The couple were married in Canada in January.)

Tags: USA, France, Canada

It was early morning on March 13, 2000, when Leslie Bulbuk was awakened by a phone call from her partner, Marta Donayre.
"Marta told me her company was about to be acquired by a company in Texas and that she might be laid off due to job duplications," Bulbuk says. "She said I should find myself a nice American girl, someone who wouldn't have to leave the country if she lost her job."

Although Donayre had a H-1B visa—which allows professional workers from other countries to work in the United States for up to six years, she would have to return to her native Brazil if she was laid off and couldn't find a new job within 10 days. Bulbuk, a U.S. citizen, doesn't have the same legal rights to sponsor Donayre to stay in the United States as heterosexual U.S. citizens do.

"That was when we first felt the sting of discrimination against same-sex binational couples," Bulbuk says. Read story, "Immigration won't recognize gay unions" by I-chun Che, The Sun, January 29, 2003)

(Photo: by Jacqueline Ramseyer, The Sun. Marta Donayre (left), a Brazilian immigrant in the United States on asylum, and Leslie Bulbuk are co-founders of Love Sees No Borders, a Sunnyvale group that publicizes the plight of same-sex binational couples and their fight to remain together in the United States.)

Tags: USA, Brazil

Mel and Hans share a life in the East Bay -- where they are surrounded by friends, own a two-story home, have jobs they love. But after 25 years together, Mel, a U.S. citizen, still cannot sponsor Hans, a Dutch citizen, for permanent U.S. residency.
If they weren't gay, this would be easy.
U.S. citizens can sponsor their children, parents and spouses as immigrants. In the eyes of U.S. immigration law, Hans is none of the above.

"You can pretend, in some ways, that when you're gay and living in the Bay Area, you have equal status with heterosexuals. That is, until something as defined as this comes along," says Mel, a 56-year-old physical therapist. "You can really see the lines drawn, and it's painful, the very hypocrisy of it, the unfairness of it."

Hans, 44, moved to the United States in 1980 on a student visa. In 1996, by then a clinical psychologist, he exhausted his work visa. Now, he is here illegally, as are many others in the same situation who take extraordinary steps to keep their status a secret.

Mel and Hans insisted that only their first names be used for this article. Though immigration officials haven't knocked on their door, the two are careful. Air travel, both foreign and domestic, is out of the question.

"We are completely in limbo," says Mel. "On one hand, the government says it doesn't recognize your relationship -- you can only sponsor your partner through marriage. On the other hand, if I were to get married, the government says it's not valid, because we're gay. How can we win?" Read full story, Gay Lives in Limbo, US immigration laws leave binational couples in the lurch" by Jose Antonio Vargas, Chronicle Staff Writer, Sunday, January 11, 2004)

(Photo: by Chris Hardy, Chronicle. Mel (left), a U.S. citizen, and Hans, a native of the Netherlands, have been lovers for 25 years and share a home in the East Bay, but under U.S. immigration law Mel cannot sponsor Hans for permanent U.S. residency.)

Tags: USA, Netherlands

Shannon and I met one week upon my arrival in San Francisco in the summer 2007. I was only visiting for 6 weeks, and wanted to check out the queer arts and culture in the Bay Area. Our romance began as a magical summer love.

Close to my departure, Shannon decided to come see me in Vancouver where I was heading for my return plane to France. We started to make plans for her to come visit me in France, and for me to come stay longer in San Francisco after I was done with my studies the following year. Shannon started to take French classes. I looked at grants and schools in the Bay Area for a graduate program. We lived long-distance over a year with times when Shannon came to Paris or I traveled back to the US. Finally, I moved to San Francisco at the end of August 2008 on a tourist visa, hoping to create a life together, and ready to do whatever I could to stay in the country, near my love.

The more I looked at it, the more scary it became. The first weeks, I understood that even if we decide to get married (as it was legal at that time in California), this ceremony would not give me any immigration rights, which are on a federal level. It could even go against us, as I would become a visible illegal immigrant if I decided to stay beyond my tourist visa's legal limit. I knew this was not a good idea. I started to look at the idea of a male partner to marry. This option did not appeal to us. It is based on lying about our love and our queer identities.

As a transgender person, the solution I was told was to transition all the way, change my gender identification to male, then I could marry Shannon. This is totally unconceivable for me. I have no money, no time, and actually no desire to pass as a male, nor to talk to doctors about my gender identity. Actually, living in San Francisco makes me feel a lot better about my gender expression and I believe this is another reason why I should be offered a better shelter here in California.

The american government does not provide any help for LGBT immigrants.

I applied for a graduate program starting in Septembre 2009. I have to leave in two weeks, and I know I will not be able to use my tourist visa anymore, as I have used it too many times and become "suspicious" to any Customs officer. The times when I had to cross the border are the worst memories of my time in the United States. I was put under pressure, and I knew I could not talk about the real reasons that brought me to this unlikable border: being in love and wanting to be happy.

I am hoping to be accepted to school. I am looking for financial support everywhere I put my eyes on but I do not know if/when I will be able to cross back again. If I do get a student visa, it again will be for a temporary stay of a couple of years. And then, what? I just wish Shannon could sponsor me as a resident, so that we can explore more our life together and continue provide this country of the cultural diversity that makes it so different and rich. -jAms

When jAms and I met, it was like a dream. I knew the reality of different cultures and limited time together, but I wanted to focus on the connection we had and the magic of the present moment. I wanted us to live the dream for as long as we could. That dream has now lasted almost two years.

Yet there have been many moments of heartbreak. It breaks my heart to try to cross the border to my country of birth with the person that I love and to hear and see the way that immigration officials engage in front of signs promising that they will treat each person that comes through with respect. It breaks my heart that they ask for proof that my love does not want to live here, asking for bank statements, insinuating misuse of visas although jAms has never been in this country illegally.

We spend months apart and then have weeks together. We've now had the longest time together and it is coming to an end as the visa comes to an end. Again we must separate. Again our relationship is not validated. Again we don't know the next time that we will get to see one another. I never know if this dream has come to an end or we can keep believing in a future together. -Shannon
(photo; personal; "October 2008 - a fancy date", jAms & Shannon together since: June 7, 2007)

Tags: USA, France

"Why I came here - Eleanor & Fumiko" Canada Embraces Love Exiles. Lesbians put down roots after 22 years in Limbo." Eleanor Batchelder, an American, and Fumiko Ohno of Tokyo lived that reality for 22 years until a year ago January, when the lesbian couple landed as permanent residents in Toronto – one of many "love exiles" settling here.
Same-sex marriages are legal in the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Norway and South Africa, but these jurisdictions stipulate that at least one person in the partnership be a resident or citizen. Canada is unique because its immigration policy allows non-national gay couples – whether they are married or in a common-law relationship – to immigrate here legally.
Ohno, 60, fluent in Spanish, met Batchelder, 68, in 1986 while on a trip to New York. The two were just friends initially; Ohno knew Batchelder had three children and didn't expect her to be a lesbian. The rest is history. Read article Toronto Star - Watch Video

Tags: USA, Japan, Canada

I am a 2nd class US citizen and my partner is Canadian. We met and fell in love in July 1997. We lived together for 4 years in Canada, until I was turned back at the border for having a DUI in the US. Larry then landed a job in the US and his employer was going to sponsor him. We were doing everything legally. We lived together for 10 months in the US. Then 9/11 happened and he lost his job and was sent back to Canada. We have been living apart ever since. This has caused many financial hardships on both of us, as we gave up our lives to be together. We also had our phone tapped by the Bush administration. We have spent thousands in lawyer fees, only to come to the conclusion that we cannot be together. He will be able to retire early in 2 years, but will only be able to visit the US for 6 months out of the year. While this is better than most Binational couples, our lives will never be complete until UAFA passes. I am urging everyone to get involved and help get this law passed. We have been really patient until now, but we are fed up!

President Obama said he not only believes in Change, he believes in Action. He also stated that "Doing nothing is not an option...you didn't send me to Washington to do nothing. The time for action is now". Well, it is time for an uprising in this country if this law is not passed this year. This is affecting over 100,000 Binational Couples.

President Obama does not believe in gay marriage. I personaly don't care what you call it, as long as I can be with my life partner. We demand EQUAL FEDERAL RIGHTS! The time for Change is now!!! (photo; personal; "This is us in Miami...we try to do a family vacation once a year", Art and Larry together since: July 1997)

Tags: USA, Canada

Moving to a new place is never easy, and moving to a new country is even more difficult. I didn't want to leave the USA. However, to be with my same-sex partner of over 10 years, I had to make a choice--move to her home country of England, move to Canada where we are legally married, or break up. We chose Canada. This blog details the experiences I've had since moving to Canada, a country that is supposedly so similar to the US, but in reality is vastly different.

Ever since Sarah and I met in 1998, the US government could not have cared less about immigration rights for same-sex bi-national couples. Every year, bills were introduced to try to remedy the unfair and painful situations that so many of us experienced, but every year, Republicans ensured that these bills never left the committee room.

After all Sarah and I have been through, all the pain, separation, and expense, there is no way I can express how wonderful it feels to see our plight acknowledged in a formal government forum. So, I won't try.

Bi-national couples have long been the forgotten children of the gay-rights movement. However, we suffer just as much, if not more than the other GLBT Americans who are disadvantaged. We are the ones who are faced with the choice of having to move out of the US or be separated from our family members. Read more... "My Life in Exile de Facto" (photo: personal; at a soccer stadium in England; Mary and Sarah together since: 1998)

Tags: USA, Canada, England

Chris moved to the U.S. from Canada in 1994 to attend graduate school in Hawaii. Following school, Chris moved to Albany, New York and then to San Francisco, where he currently lives. During this time, he's lived in the U.S. on a variety of visa types, including F-1 Student, TN, and H1-B work visas.

Chris met his husband, Tim, in 2001, and they were married in California in the summer of 2008. Friends and family were surprised to learn that Tim could not sponsor Chris for permanent residency once married, as would be the case if they were an opposite-sex couple.

Chris' current visa expires in 2010, and until recently, they were living under the cloud of the knowledge that he would have to leave the country at that time, with or without Tim, into an uncertain future for both of them. A few months ago, they learned that Chris' employer of eight years was finally going to sponsor him, and so he was one of the lucky few. Without this support, at the end of his visa, he would have to leave the home, job, family and life that he has created in America over the past fifteen years. This is the reality for most of whom are on non-immigrant visas in this country. We only wish to be treated equally to opposite-sex couples and have the ability to be sponsored by our husbands, wives, or life-partners. Visit Marriage Equality USA Bi-national Immigration (photo: personal; Tim and Chris together since: June 2001)

Tags: USA, Canada

I am currently an American Peace Corps volunteer serving in Ecuador. My story begins in June 2007, after a lifetime of dreaming of joining the Peace Corps. It was at this time that I moved to Ecuador in my attempt to serve my country and to make the world a better place. Less than a year into my two years of service, I met the love of my life Gabriela. Needless to say, it has been a worldwind love affair like one that is only seen in movies or in your dreams. Our relationship is still young and new, but I know, without a shadow of doubt, that I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I just wish my country, that I would die for, would give me that opportunity. With my two years of service in the Peace Corps quickly coming to an end, I live in fear daily of having to choose between my beloved country and the great love of my life. (photo: personal; "me and my beautiful Gabby", Lynnsey and Gabriela together since: February 2008)

Tags: USA, Ecuador

We met the end of 2007 just before Kiyo had to leave the United States to return to Japan after his Student Visa expired and he couldn't get a H1B visa even though he had an employer to sponsor him. My first trip to Tokyo in May 2008 was incredible!!! Although I had strong feelings for him, I wasn't sure I wanted to have a long distance relationship, but after spending more than a week with Kiyo I fell deeply in love...When I returned to the States I decided to go back for his birthday on July 9th and ask him to marry me. On August 18, 2008, at San Francisco City Hall, Kiyo and I were one of the 18,000 lucky couple to be married in California. Our one real hope for happiness is the passage of Uniting American Families Act. (photo: personal; "On August 18, 2008, at San Francisco City Hall, Kiyo and I were one of the 18,000 lucky couples to be married in California", Kiyo and Jim together since: May 2008)

Tags: USA, Japan

The first two months of our lives together started out as what may resemble a typical love story. But suddenly we were catapulted into a world which is unfamiliar to most Americans.

Marco and I met on the internet. It's hard to explain the immediate connection we felt toward each other, but it was blatantly there. After only two months and literally thousands of typed pages later, I was on my way to Europe for the first time. I had never had much interest in Germany. I would have much rather been heading to some place a little more exotic, but I was following my heart which didn't lend me much choice.

It's hard to look your best and refreshed after such a long flight, but it didn't matter....even though we were meeting face to face for the first time. What I was about to experience would become the best day of my life. My dreams were finally coming true and I didn't realize it at the time, but I would learn to love Germany.

A few weeks later, Marco was on his way to New Orleans. Even though I have spent most of my life in big cities, I've always been a country boy at heart and I knew that he would have to accept that part of me, not to mention...tolerate my boisterous and at times "difficult" family. I probably over did it his first trip though. New Orleans can be challenging for anyone, but I decided to culturally submerge him anyway. From Bourbon Street to alligator infested canoe trips, snakes and being awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by some of the loudest insects on the planet...none of it was too shocking for him. I felt like I was experiencing life...for the very first time. After my family didn't send him packing...I was really in love. I would need no more convincing that he was the one for me. It was the first time my family had seen me truly happy. I had always wanted that. I wish my mom had had the chance to see it too.

Marco was immediately accepted as part of the family. But, it was all about the same time that we were catapulted into the very frightening world of being a bi-national gay couple. Being American, I thought I would find a way for us, because our "system" protects it's own, but I couldn't. We were torn, and our hearts were ripped to peices. Dead end after dead end, we knew It would not be easy for us. His visa was running out soon and I would have to figure out a way once we got back to Germany. The only thing I knew for certain at that point was that we would not be separated.

That will soon be six years ago. We have exhausted every legally imaginable route possible trying to figure out a way to return, but it isn't going to happen. After Hurricane Katrina, Marco got a 3 month visa. We sold everything, quit our jobs and went home to help my family clean up. The 3 months went by fast and 3 days before his visa was to expire (again) we had to say goodbye to our family. We didn't have anything to return to in Germany, so we threw on our backpacks and for the next year headed south...all the way to Costa Rica. We knew we couldn't do this forever, but it was nice to escape the feeling that America and it's people had completely turned their back on us. We really didn't have many other options either.

Dad called us in Costa Rica and said he was getting married. Mom had died a few years before and he was 68. I was excited to be his "best man", but the day we returned home through Houston was not our lucky day. To make a long story short, Marco's previous stay was being questioned. Marco explained his purpose of being in America a year before and that he had been there to help my family clean up after Hurricane Katrina. But immigration officials didn't buy it and accused him of "working for room and board" and went on to say that what he had done was against federal immigration law. He couldn't tell them that I was supporting him, that would have made it even worse. They physically separated us for the first time in our lives. Grant it...it was only for a day, but it was the day we decided to leave America for good.

As an American, it is excruciatingly painful to wake up and realize that you are purposefully being excluded from the pursuit of happiness, not to mention, life, liberty and justice for all. But, for the sake of sanity; for the time being, we've had to put that part of our lives far behind us. We packed up our hopes, our dreams and our money and returned to Germany, because we knew it would be a safe place for us. We were both desperate for some sense of normalcy too.

We're married now and we both have jobs here. I quit resisting and finally learned the language. Munich is our home. Perhaps, one day, we will return to America, but not until we have the freedom to do so...as a family. (photo: personal; Mardi Gras 2005, Patrick and Marco together since: March 2004)

Tags: USA, Germany

I am a US Citizen, a Vietnam Veteran, a home owner, a tax payer and a member in good standing in my community, yet I am not afforded the same rights as my neighbors because I am a man in love with another man.

In 2003 I met a young man from Australia. He was here on a Visitor's Visa and had run into some bad luck. He had been robbed, lied to, and had been so beat down by the system that he couldn't look anyone in the eye. He needed a place to stay and I took him in to help him get back on his feet. That was back in 2003 and we have been together ever since.

The only way I kept him in this country legally was to enroll him in school and the only way he can stay here is if he remains in school. When I met my Aussie I was dept free. Now I'm in dept to the turn of over 40 thousand, due to lawyer fees, tuition, application fees and supporting him. Because of his visa status he is not allowed to work, but he has no money to pay his tuition...a tuition that is elevated because he is an international student...a tuition I pay to a school that my taxes help support. Due to current immigration laws, I can not sponsor him for a resident alien card (green card), or adopt him because he is over 18. I can't marry him and as far as the US Government is concerned, we are total strangers, even though we have spent every night together.

I am an Electronics Field; Service Technician by trade. I am finding it harder and harder to justify staying in this country under the current conditions. If we move to Australia my partner could sponsor me. If we move to Canada we could marry. If we stay in the US I see no future for us. There are an estimated eighty thousand couples in our situation and every day more and more people in our situation are leaving the US. The US is losing talented people due to inequality of immigration law. We are being forced to choose between our country and the person we love. Since April 2006, around the world, there are twenty countries that allow same sex immigration or grant some sort of benefits to binational couples. But the "greatest country in the world" is behind in granting the same equality to gay Americans.

This is also a civil rights issue. If heterosexual "Joe Blow" down the street can walk across the border, marry a woman he has known for five minutes, bring her home and sponsor her for a Green card, why shouldn't I be allowed to sponsor someone I have spent years building a life with, someone that I am in love with, someone who brings me joy and peace, and someone who has made me a better person.

We are not asking for special rights we are asking for equal rights. We are asking for justice. I urge you to support the Uniting American Families Act and when voting on gay related issues such as same sex marriage, look in your heart and ask yourself whether your vote discriminates against, causes harm to or treats fellow Americans as second class citizens. (photo: personal; Randy and GJ together since: 2003)

Tags: USA

I am an American living in exile. My partner and I have enjoyed a loving, committed relationship with each other for over 4 years. We consider ourselves lucky to have found true lifelong partners in each other, and in every sense of the word, we are a married couple.

While my heart is complete after finding my husband, my life is incomplete due to my country. My husband is Brazilian and has not been able to immigrate to the United States which is our preferred home. Instead, I have been forced to choose between my family and lifelong friends and my loving and committed partner. For the last year, I have been living in Brazil to be with my husband. I cannot afford to travel frequently so I don't get to see my family often. My parents are in their late 70's and I am not there to help provide support, celebrate birthday's or anniversaries or participate in holiday gatherings. Most phone calls end in tears as my mother is devastated that her youngest son is so far away. I struggle with my situation every day all because my country does not allow my husband to immigrate to the United States.

I urge you to support S. 1328/H.R. 2221, the Uniting American Families Act - legislation that will effect the tens of thousands of couples in my similar situation. Let's do the right thing and bring our families together. (photo: personal; taken in NYC, Glenn and Antonio together since: 9/11 2004)

Tags: USA, Brazil

We met in 1995 in Los Angeles, California and both knew from the start we had not just found each other, we had found love. My partner Jean is from France and was working in Los Angeles as a journalist for French magazines and newspapers with a media visa. I worked as a hotel manager and we had a nice life with lots of friends and jobs we enjoyed.

Later, I decided to leave the hotel business and and work in real estate instead. About the same time my partner Jean also wanted to change careers but in his case he could not because his job as a journalist was the provider of his work visa so he kept on writing. I thought at the time wouldn\'t it be nice if he had the freedom to change careers like all American citizens do.

In early 2006 my partner Jean received news the magazine he worked for was going to close its doors knowing his work visa renewal was coming near the end of the year. We went to two immigration attorneys to ask about our options and found out we really didn\'t have any. We had two options, move to France or separate. We chose to move to France.

It was not easy to leave our friends, sell our home, leave a job I enjoyed, and move but at least we could stay together.

We chose to move to a french island in the Caribbean, Saint Martin. Knowing I would have to leave every 3 months until I received \"right to stay\", this was the most economical location being only 3 hours from Miami by air. We got Paxed (french civil union) shortly after we arrived here which allowed me to apply for right to stay one year later. I just received my Carte De Sejour (right to stay and work) last month. The time in between had me flying back to the US every 3 months $$$, we had to hire a lawyer $$$ because the locals here were making the process very difficult. I guess a same sex couple never applied for right to stay here before.

All of this process and money spent to live in a place both of us do not want to be. My partner has a job but I cannot get one because I do not speak fluent French. So we wait, and wait, hoping The Uniting American Families Act passes soon so we can move back home to the United States. (photo: personal; St. Martin, France, Jean and Allen together since: 1995)

Tags: USA, France

When I met my White Russian in person for the first time, one cold winter day in Warsaw, Poland, I knew my life had forever changed. Dzmitry is the love of my life, and a profound blessing that God sent to me! I've never experienced this depth of love. But we can't live together. Belarus is 5000 miles from the United States. I've only been able to visit him two times in nearly 5 years!!  I own a small business and have to work long hours. Sometimes I'm so lonely missing him that I feel like I can't possibly withstand more of the stress. It's pure Hell to be forced to live like this, separated from my beloved, especially as I realize that my own country, "the land of Liberty," the United States of America, doesn't give a damn about me because I'm homosexual, and my family has no value.

We're praying that President Obama will not delay issuing an immediate presidential executive order to nullify all laws in the United States of America that have been destroying the lives of GLBT Americans.  Dzmitry and I, and the tens of thousands of couples like us, only want to live normal happy lives together, so that we can help contribute to the happiness and well-being of our country. Visit Madison and Dzmitry on Change.org (photo: personal; Madison and Dzmitry, 2007-2008)

Tags: USA, Belarus

This Way Out: Love Exiles & "Chris and Don" Overnight Productions, Inc. 15 Jul 2008 00:13 GMT Independent Media Center indymedia.org LoveExiles.org Music added: Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Report spotlights GLBT immigration challenges
House bill seeks to allow U.S. citizens to sponsor foreign same-sex partners
by Anthony Baldman, Reporter
Published Thursday, 18-May-2006 in issue 960
GLT - Gay and Lesbian Times (gaylesbiantimes.com)

SAN DIEGO - ...San Diego’s Nadine Jernewall and Sze Tan, a binational couple, have been active members of Equality California’s San Diego chapter. They met over three years ago online as friends and a romantic relationship blossomed shortly thereafter. “We were amazed at the connection we felt with each other and decided that we had to be together despite the odds we faced ahead of us,” Jernewall said, referring to the fact that Tan is not a U.S. citizen and first came to the U.S. on a student visa from Malaysia.

Jernewall said the biggest challenge they face as a binational couple is living with uncertainty on a daily basis. “Our being together is contingent upon Sze keeping her job with an employer who is willing to sponsor her working visa,” Jernewall said. Tan, who works as a software engineer, is now with an employer who is willing to sponsor her for a green card. Jernewall said Tan is lucky enough to be well-educated and to possess job skills deemed important to the U.S. economy, but many other people are not so fortunate, and are unable to obtain work visas. The couple does not know how long the process will take for Tan to receive her green card through her employer.

“It could be a year. It could be four years. While we feel lucky to even have this, it is still hard to plan a future when all this stuff is so up in the air,” Jernewall said. “If her company had to lay her off or something, we’d be back at square one.” The couple considered emigrating from the U.S. to Canada in order to remain together as a couple, Jernewall said.

“While Canada is a beautiful country, it was very difficult to accept that I, as a U.S. citizen, would have to leave my country and family in order to stay with my partner,” she said. “This is not something that heterosexual couples ever need to consider, since immigration laws recognize them as a family. The U.S., unfortunately, regards us as strangers when it comes to immigration. Our family is deemed unworthy of protection.” read full story GLT... (photo: Gay and Lesbian Times)

Tags: Love Exiles, Gay and Lesbian Times, gay immigration, equality

Because same-sex marriages are not recognized in the United States, certain marital benefits, like the advantage of permanent residency for a foreign born partner, are denied to bi-national spouses. This commonly results in the foreign partner being forced to leave the United States, and their loved ones, behind. Brittany and Joanna's story is one of thousands. (photo: CurrentTV.com)

Tags: CurrentTV, gay immigration, equality

Gay Marriage: Until Deportation Do Us Part?
By Mary Milliken
Reuters
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Rita Boyadjian wishes she were in a better mood to celebrate the weddings of fellow gay friends after California began legally marrying same-sex couples last month.But her partner of six years is a German woman whose U.S. student visa runs out soon. Even if they were to legally marry in California, Margot (not her real name) could not stay in the United States because the federal government does not recognize same-sex marriage for immigration purposes. This month the well-to-do couple and their nine-month-old baby will move to Germany so they....read more uk.Reuters.com (photo: Reuters)

Tags: USA, Germany, Reuters, gay immigration, equality

This segment on the hardships of bi-national couples in their struggle for immigration equality was the first segment produced by Cutberto Bonilla and Ryan Schlief who had this to say about their first time making a TV segment: It was a great experience, we learned a lot, plus we were able to create a segment that highlights an important topic within our community and share it with the public. (photo: Out at the Center)

Tags: Youtube, Out At The Center, gay immigration, equality

Mark and Fred have been together for 15 years. They have a beautiful home and two adorable kids in Harrisburg, NJ. Fred has been able to stay in the country through student and work visas. When his last work visa came to an end without the possibility of renewal, they faced dire choices. Going back to France is an option, except for the French law the kids will never be considered French and will have to leave every six months. Also, staying in the US was further impeded since Fred had to stop working and take yet another student visa to stay with Mark. They had to sell their home at a loss, since they are burning through their savings, and they may have to live apart for a while, separating even the children. Read More [1] [2] Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net [2] Immigration Equality, Inc. Mark and Fred (Not his real name), John and Claire-Marie link: http://www.immigrationequality.org/template.php?pageid=50#markfabien (photo: Through Thick & Thin video, and Immigration Equality)

Tags: Through Thick and Thin Docu, Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

Ravneet is a naturalized American citizen, but was born in India. In her first trip to the UK she met Kiran, through a cousin. Ravneet is 18 and Kiran a year older. They both realized they had feelings for each other before they even knew they were gay. They started seeing each other, traveling between the two countries despite the fact that they are not out to their families or friends and have little financial support. After 6 months of painful separation they met in Los Angeles for a two-week "honeymoon". After their time together and back in the UK, Kiran came out to her parents. With the recent passage of the Civil Partnership law in the UK, they are weighing their options to stay together. [1] Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net/htmlsite/ravneetkiran.htm (photo: Through Thick & Thin)

Tags: Through Thick and Thin Docu, gay immigration, equality

First Massachusetts, then California; now United Nations
Forcibly separated same-sex Mass. couple accuse U.S. of treaty violation at United Nations
Media inquiries should be directed to Erin Hoefler, 978-374-1900, Ext. 114
HAVERHILL, MASS. – If the experience of Tim Coco and Genesio J. Oliveira Jr. is any example, future same-sex married couples in California face an uphill battle in securing minimal Federal rights. Coco and Oliveira, married three years ago in Massachusetts, hope their twin cases, including a complaint filed this week with the United Nations, will help. Coco and Oliveira accuse the United States of violating the “Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment” by... Read full Press Release and Tim and Genesio's Story on their website ReuniteThisFamily.com (photo: Reunite This Family)

Tags: gay immigration, equality

A Cuban-American and her Peruvian female partner are battling to stop a deportation order. Their last and final hearing is in May and they have to prove that going back to Peru for Lourdes would be not only a terrible setback, but also dangerous to her as a lesbian. In the meantime, their life in Seattle has stalled, for they cannot make any long-term plans that pertain to work, family matters and housing. Read More [1]Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net/htmlsite/alieensuzie.htm (photo: Through Thick & Thin)

Tags: Through Thick and Thin Docu, gay immigration, equality

Chuck and Larry, meet Eric and Stan, a couple who started over in a new country because they were refused immigration rights. Ten gay and lesbian couples talk about their relationships and explain why marriage is necessary for them and their families. These videos are also featured on 10Couples.org, where you can find tools to turn these stories into meaningful action. The videos were filmed and produced by the award-winning team at Public Interest (Photo: PublicInterest.tv)

Tags: Youtube, gay immigration, equality

Tags: Youtube, gay immigration, equality

Charly and Terry are both dedicated Catholics and have a strong devotion and love for each other that most people would envy. Only able to spend 6 weeks together a year, their hearts break each time they are separated. Even though it takes up so much of their energy and time, they manage to religiously stay connected through the telephone and the internet daily, until the day they will be allowed to immigrate to Canada, where they have filed for residence and where they expect to grow old together, to enjoy they warmth of the embrace they don't have every day. [1] Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net/htmlsite/charlyterry.htm (photo: Through Thick & Thin)

Tags: Through Thick and Thin Docu, gay immigration, equality

Tags: Youtube, gay immigration, equality

When Tammy met Sally online, they were both going through difficult divorces with their husbands. Tammy was in Texas and Sally in Northern England. They fell madly in love as they realized each was, for the other, the partner they had always dreamed of. At first, they attempted to let their relationship grow with constant visits to each country. As that came to a screeching halt, due to Sally's legal impossibility to continue coming to the US, they were faced with a dilemma. Tammy was able to obtain a work visa in the UK, but had to leave her two daughters and a good job behind in order to be with Sally. Read More [1] Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net/htmlsite/tamsal.htm (photo: Through Thick & Thin)

Tags: Through Thick and Thin Docu, gay immigration, equality

Tags: Youtube, gay immigration, equality

Here's the crummy Alistair and I face as does every lesbian or gay American if their partner is from another country. A heterosexual American citizen can meet someone from a foreign country at 2AM tonight at some sleazy nightclub in LA, drive five hours to Las Vegas and get married, and the very next day go to the INS and pretty much immediately get a "fiance" green card that will eventually allow them to remain together in the US. Unless the straight person's partner blew up a bridge in Bolivia or something, all heterosexual marriages are given immigration rights. On the other hand even though I am a US citizen and my Australian life-partner Alistair and I have been together for almost eight years, our relationship - our family - is given no respect or value in America and we are facing being thrown out of my country when his student visa runs out. This is what made me want to scream when Bush starts talking about being against "special rights" for gay people. This is so dishonest. I guess Bush believes if he's going to tell a lie, he might as well tell a whopper! All straight Americans have about 1500 special heterosexual rights through marriage that no gay American can have. Alistair and I are faced with the grim reality that unless America changes its unfair laws that deny gay bi-national couples the immigration rights currently only given to straight people, we will be forced to leave the United States in about a year and seek immigration asylum in a more civilized country than the US in order to maintain our relationship. The US is almost the only western country that doesn't give their citizens' gay relationships immigration rights. This sucks. Clearly this is a job for a performance artist to try to get people pissed off about this. As a gay American in a bi-national relationship for eight years, I take the... read more Tim Miller [1] Tim Miller and Alistair McCartney - Gay Immgration STOP DEPORTING OUR LOVERS! link: http://hometown.aol.com/millertale/timmillerimmig.html [2] Tim Miller Queer Performer - Blog link: http://timmillerperfomer.blogspot.com/ (photo: Tim Miller)

Tags: Tim Miller, gay immigration, equality

Love at first sight is what united Anthony and Andre. Anthony, suffering from HIV/AIDS and cancer, fell in love with Andre. They visited on several occasions and Andre got a student visa to come to the U.S. Because of misinformation at the American consulate in Brazil, Andre showed up too early in the U.S., so he was put back on a plane and sent back to Brazil, where they both attempted everything they could to be able to be together. There was no way out for Andre, so Anthony started traveling back and forth, for up to five weeks at a time. Sadly, that proved too taxing on his health, and died in Andre's arms in July of 2005. Read More [1] Through Thick & Thin, A documentary about the immigration struggle of gay and lesbian couples in America. Sebastian Cordoba, DIRECTOR/PRODUCER; Lavi Soloway, PRODUCER; Kim Fishman, PRODUCER. USA, 2007, 75 Minute Running Time. link: http://www.throughthickandthin.net/htmlsite/anthonyandre.htm (photo: through Thick & Thin)

Tags: Through Thick and Thin Docu, gay immigration, equality

As of October 2006, I’ve gone solo again, but not really. I moved from Washington to Rio De Janeiro to be with my partner after two years very long distance. His unconditional love and support has changed my life, and so I am happy to change more of it to be with him. Since he is Brazilian, we have not been able to obtain a visa to bring him to the U.S., and my country does not allow gay citizens to sponsor foreign same-sex partners for citizenship here. His country does. So for the time being, we’ll (finally) be together in Brazil, a place I have loved from the first time I stepped foot there. At the same time, living in Brazil on a tourist visa means I can't stay longer than 90 days per visit or 180 days per year, so I return often to the U.S., and we even moved to Buenos Aires for the last months of 2007 after I maxed on Brazil time for read more Citizen Crain (photo: Junior Magazine, Citizen Crain)

Tags: Citizen Chris, gay immigration, equality

The unequal treatment of lesbian and gay partnerships is only one among many interlinked inequities riddling the immigration system. Marta Donayre, co-founder of Love Sees No Borders, a group for binational gay and lesbian couples, points out: Women have a harder time coming to the country. To get a tourist visa, you have to prove that you have ties back home. Women are less likely to have bank accounts or own property, so it is harder for them to qualify. Third World status makes it far more difficult as well—which is about race and also is about economics: so in immigration policy, you clearly see the read more Human Rights Watch, Family, Unvalued. Love Sees No Borders was established by Marta Donayre and Leslie Bulbuk in August 2001 to advocate on behalf of binational same-sex couples in trying to live in the Unites States. Visit: Love Sees No Borders (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, Love Sees No Borders, gay immigration, equality

Wendy Daw, a U.S. citizen, is thirty-seven; Belinda Ryan, from Britain, is forty. We listened to them on a sunny afternoon in their modest home in California’s East Bay. “It’s time to speak out,” Belinda kept saying. They have become activists for the unrecognized rights of couples like themselves. Wendy tells how their love, and trouble, started: That first six months was pretty wonderful. I had just started at graduate school; Belinda had moved to this country; she was here in the Bay Area studying to be a helicopter pilot. And then she finished school. And that was when we started to realize the predicament: wow, this was serious. She was allowed to find a job under the student visa, so she started Read Belinda's and Wendy's Story (Part One)

We live with this so constantly that we lose track of how it affects us. I am not willing to put my energy into building up a really great practice or starting up an office or establishing myself really well—because there’s this sense that right when it starts to take off, we’ll leave, and I will have invested all that time and energy and money into a life that I will just have to walk away from… The profound effect it has all had, on the choices I have made in my life…I’m a good doctor, and I am not using it to the fullest. Of course, there’s no guarantee of anything in life. But here there’s something wrong—whether you go or stay is not your decision, is at the mercy of somebody else. … I come to realize it has had a really undermining effect on how I live my life.Some people say, Well, she has to leave, but you don’t have to. I say: If your husband got kicked out of the country, wouldn’t you go with him? They don’t recognize that Read Belinda's and Wend'ys Story (Part 2)

Visit: Out4Immigration.org

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, Out 4 Immigration, gay immigration, equality

I moved to the Netherlands from the San Francisco Bay Area in March 2000 to be with my partner and future wife, Lin. Lin and I met in 1982 in Amsterdam and became close friends. Sixteen years later, our deep love for each other turned to passion, and we started a long distance commute, seeing each other whenever possible, and spending much of our time together on the telephone or online.After more than a year of flying back and forth for short visits, we decided we had had enough of the long distance relationship and that I should move to the Netherlands. We got engaged, promising to marry as soon as the Dutch changed the marriage law to include same-sex couples. (photo: Gon Buurman; Love Exiles)

We married on May 4, 2001. The story of our wedding appeared in the June 19, 2001, issue of The Advocate. Our wedding photos have appeared in the annual report of the Akzo Nobel Pension Fund, in several photo exhibitions, on the cover of the book Wij Gaan Ons Echt Verbinden, and in the Human Rights Watch report Family Unvalued. Since Lin's son was still in high school, Lin asked me to Read More Love Exiles

Martha McDevitt-Pugh, who left the United States in the end to be with her life partner, Lin, told us, “You don’t casually date someone across an ocean.”101 Yet many binational same-sex couples have to. Perhaps the non-U.S. partner cannot stay legally in the U.S.—or cannot even get a visa to enter it; perhaps the U.S. partner, for reasons of job or family, cannot move away. Couples hoping to build a life together are unable to create a common home. Plane tickets and phone calls become the lifelines on which a relationship survives. Also Human Rights Watch - Family, Unvalued.

Tags: Love Exiles, Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

In August 1994, Stephane learned that his mother was gravely ill. He immediately traveled to France to be with her, preparing to return to the United States on his E-2 visa which he had extended shortly before he left the country. Unfortunately, due to some error in communication with the INS office in Liguna Niguel, Marty and Stephane were given the wrong advice in connection with the extension of the visa. When Stephane returned from his visit with his mother, the Immigration officers in the Detroit airport would not permit him to re-enter the country. Stephane recounts that he was rudely questioned, threatened and told that he would have to return to France. Finally, after hours of argument he was paroled into the United States pending an exclusion hearing. Stephane was forced to surrender his passport, and he was photographed and fingerprinted before he was released from custody.

After returning to San Francisco, Stephane consulted with a lawyer and had his exclusion hearing transferred to that city from Detroit. He also sought to have his hearing expedited so that he could clear up the problems and free himself for future travel. This was not to be the case, however. Unfortunately for Stephane, his exclusion hearing was not scheduled quickly and he was forced to remain in limbo, waiting for an opportunity to present his case. He did not dare travel outside the country at this time Read More "Oh Canada, Glorious and Free" (photo: LGIRTF; Immigration Equality archive)

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

"We Feel We Are Two of the Lucky Ones" Mark Lipman and Jonty Somers met on Queen's Surf Beach, Honolulu in August 1991. Mark was touring with a Broadway musical as a pianist and assistant conductor. Jonty was soaking up the warm Hawaiian summer sun before returning to face the winter in Christchurch, New Zealand, where he lived and worked as a lawyer. After several days spent talking by the sea, finding common interests and a mutual attraction (and one thing leading to another) the two men faced a tearful goodbye. "We knew that after barely a week, we had Read more LGIRTF Founders Find Happiness Together At Last In New Zealand (photo: LGIRTF; Immigration Equality archive)

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

For us personally to be in an environment that feels more progressive is inspiring. To have a country do the right thing about civil rights, to make a commitment that all people are equal, is amazing. It’s a blanket policy – all people have equal rights; it’s not selective. This picking and choosing in the United States leaves a bad taste in your mouth… You can’t get around the [U.S.] immigration system. We try to let people know that we didn’t mess this up; we’re not lazy or stupid; we tried to find an avenue to pursue, but there just isn’t one. This experience rocked my identity as a U.S. citizen to the core. Sometime I feel like a child saying it’s not fair. I feel frustrated and very ashamed that the biggest country in the western world lags so far behind on human rights on its own soil… People ask me why I’m here, and I say, because I can’t live there. For the country that professes to be a peacekeeper for the world, the guardian of human rights, and the bastion of democracy, they’re failing a significant percentage of their citizenship. Read More Anji and Hills story - Human Rights Watch - Family Unvalued. (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

Olivier De Wulf is from Belgium. Steve Boullianne is from Los Angeles. Thirteen years ago they met, and now they live in San Francisco with their two adopted boys, Laurent, 5, and Reece, 4. If they were straight, they could marry, and De Wulf would be granted U.S. citizenship. If they lived in Belgium, they could get married, and Boullianne could become a Belgian citizen. But their two boys could not stay with them for more than 90 days because of a quirk in Belgian law designed to prevent mass immigration from the former colony of the Congo. Even California's liberal domestic partnership law is of no help when it Read more San Francisco Chronicle. Steve and Olivier met in Belgium when Steve was abroad working for AT&T. Upon returning to San Francisco, Steve spent the next two years trying to secure a visa for Olivier to join him in the U.S. Olivier sacrificed his engineering career in Belgium to work for a firm that would sponsor his visa. The firm eventually closed its doors and Steve and Olivier were faced with the likelihood of being pushed out of the U.S. due to visa issues. Read more Steve and Olivier, Laurent and Reece (photo: Chronicle, 2004, by Kim Komenich)

Tags: San Francisco Chronicle, LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

As Bortnik and Gaylord spoke with Metro Weekly, just before the new year, they were coming to the close of one such trip, which saw the couple traveling the United States, from the Grand Canyon to Gaylord's hometown, Schenectady, N.Y. With their time together coming to an end -- for now -- the two have to steel their resolve ahead of the inevitable good-bye. ''When I go back to Belarus, I have, like, two weeks of depression,'' says Bortnik. They are, however, getting better at living this particular situation. ''Now I have so many things to do when I go home, which is good. I won't have too much time to be depressed.'' The same feelings strike Gaylord shortly after his partner leaves. ''There's definitely a feeling of depression each time. It's particularly bad when something happens -- good or bad -- that you'd want to share with a partner. You want somebody to talk to.'' It's not a feeling either are familiar with, says Gaylord'' ''We're not depressed people. We usually have a lot of fun.'' To ease the separation, they e-mail each other daily, and phone a couple times a month. And they've not had to go more than about three months without meeting since the initial introduction in Mexico. That's not to say it hasn't been complicated and expensive. Read more From D.C., with Love Bi-national gay couple tackles borders and barriers to stay together, (photo: Metro Weekly, Todd Franson)

Tags: Metro Weekly, gay immigration, equality

Liz Ohle and T.A. Loeffler, LGIRTF members who appear in the documentary "Love Knows No Borders," are now living in St. John's Newfoundland. Liz's application was approved and she became a "landed immigrant" this summer. Read More Two Americans Immigration to Canada to Join Their Partners + Danny and Brad (photo: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality archive)

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

It soon became apparent that there were NO meaningful ways under US immigration law for Joey and me to return to the States together. Student visas are difficult to get and temporal. Employment opportunities and the associated visas for his specialized profession are nonexistent. I realized I had no option other than to make China my home if I didn't want to leave Joey. We were certainly not welcome in the USA. As much as I didn't really want to live in China permanently it was better than living alone without Joey in the States. My two adult sons and sister in the States found it very hard to accept that I would not be returning home but they understood why, supported my decision, and were happy for me. Someday, I hope that we can live in the States together. Perhaps I shall at least live long enough for this displaced American to see it happen when my home country that so disillusions me now over-comes the homophobia that rages there today. Read more Out 4 Immigration (photo: Out4Immigration.org)

Tags: Out 4 Immigration, gay immigration, equality

I do not know when I will see my beloved again because our love and commitment of over six years is not recognized or respected by the laws either of our countries. As we all are painfully aware, it doesn't have to be like that. Usually governments allow and even encourage binational couples by making immigration relatively simple for them. As a Lesbian couple, we are denied a basic human right: to live our lives together. This turn of events was devastating to us and affected the lives of our close friends and our community. With all our hearts we want to be together to build our lives together. Each day apart was excruciating and is made even more painful knowing that many couples like us suffer because of this cruel and discriminatory policy. Any heterosexual couple, regardless of the duration of their relationship or the depth of their love for each other is able to marry and remain together. Read more Immigration Issues Are Complex When One Partner is Disabled. (photo: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality archive)

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

The pummeling of couples’ capacity to get by is steady. Debt is a constant threat. David, forty-two, spent a year living apart from his British partner, Howie, thirty-seven. In that time, they flew back and forth “about ten or eleven times to see each other,” David recalls. “We spent maybe $10,000 on travel. It completely drained our finances. Each trip was at least $400-$600 in airfare. It was not something I could afford. But, even though I should have, I didn’t really give it a second thought. I put it on credit cards—and I’m only now coming out of debt." Read more stories Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued. (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

Barbara, forty-three, a U.S. citizen living in Massachusetts, is legally disabled with severe difficulty walking. She has a disabled son, seventeen, as well as a thirteen-year-old daughter. She relives heavily for physical help as well as emotional support on her British partner, Susan, who lives with her in the U.S. Barbara qualifies for subsidized housing because of her multiple disabilities. Susan is legally in the U.S. on a student visa. Yet, foreigners on student visas cannot live in subsidized housing, so Susan’s presence in the house must be a secret, even though she is both Susan’s primary caregiver and her partner. Barbara feels the injustice acutely: “I have neighbors who have a partner who is not American, and they can bring their spouses, and I say, accept all; but I’m an American and I can’t get my own home country to accept my own partner.” Read more stories Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued. (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

Vini and I fell very much in love, and I realized this was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And this, of course, presented some problems. He lives in São Paulo - I live in Washington. Without going into the long road we traveled, it was clear that due to the legal situation in the U.S., if this relationship was to be anything like what we both wanted, I would have to immigrate to Brazil. (Interestingly enough, my friend Chris was reaching the same conclusion about his life at the same time, and it's been nice to have someone to relate to in all of this.) So we thought it through very carefully, and luckily due to the fact that I am an international consultant who works entirely in Latin America and the Caribbean -- and have not really had to be in Washington for any professional reason for quite some time -- this would be a very easy scenario to imagine doing, and benefitting from. Especially since the cost of living in Brazil is half that of the U.S., and read more on Club Whirld (photo: Citizen Crain Blog)

Tags: Club Whirld, Citizen Chris, gay immigration, equality

I’m dying in my seat. I was totally petrified. We’re surrounded by all these military guys in broad daylight. Ricardo was so courageous. I wouldn’t have done that myself. He took my hand. He said, “Could you please have some compassion. This is my family. You could choose not to do this.” The border patrol officer was completely taken aback. The men made Ricardo step out. Wayne had to stay in the car, but could hear their voices: “You’re a very muscular guy; you’re not going to try anything, are you?” Ricardo notes, “They treat you like that all the time. Like you’re about to burst, like you’re an animal. You’re not supposed to move unless you’re told. “ Once inside [the detention facility], I just collapsed... Wayne Brown, forty-seven, a clinical social worker, lives in Florida at the moment. His partner Ricardo Espíndola is from Argentina and is unemployed. Wayne, a Canadian citizen, had been a lawful permanent U.S. resident for many years, working as program director of a large HIV/AIDS service group. Things took a wrong turn in late 2004 on a desert highway. Ricardo’s undocumented status came back to haunt him—and the couple was ripped apart. Read more Human Rights Watch - Family, Unvalued. (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

Wade Nichols and his Taiwanese partner Francis Shen, living together in what for Wade is exile in Taipei, had considered a fake marriage to stay together in the U.S. Francis has been harassed by U.S. immigration before. He says marrying is “a long shot, and then I’d have to go through immigration again, but that time it would be more difficult because I’d be lying. It was hard enough when I wasn’t lying. … It’s insane,” he adds. “The government would rather have people lie to them than be honest with them.” Read more Human Rights Watch - Family, Unvalued. (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

Whether traveling to meet, or trying to keep the foreign partner legally in the U.S., couples fear the power of U.S. immigration officers to break up their lives by stopping them at the border. Crossing customs is a constant reminder of how fragile their relationships are, absent legal recognition. Stephanie and Callie have been partners since 2003. Stephanie is a U.K. citizen, Callie from the U.S. For the first year, they exchanged visits, managing to spend months together at a time—but always knowing the days were limited. Stephanie says, “The airport is just the worst thing …. You always worry that you’re looking too shifty when you’re going through. You constantly worry you’ll be turned away, although you’re doing nothing.” We were always careful if we were traveling together not to carry any documents that showed us as a couple together, in any way. No letters, cards, photos even… We didn’t want to get caught—no, not “caught,” because we weren’t doing anything illegal. We never considered breaking the law, because we both wanted to do it completely legally. Read more Stopped at the Gate, Human Rights Watch - Family, Unvalued. (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

When Haxall and Aurelio first met at the 1998 West Hollywood Halloween festival, they knew there was an attraction, despite a significant language barrier. But they were determined to make their relationship work, even if it meant in the beginning they had to struggle to communicate. The pair soon found out English was the least of their problems, as Aurelio tried to take steps to get the legal protections needed for a noncitizen to stay in the country. Aurelio came to the U.S. on a tourist visa, but knew after meeting Haxall he wanted to stay with the man who had quickly become a part of his life. The two decided to move in together, and Aurelio made the snap decision to apply for a student visa, which meant the two men decided to make their relationship more permanent despite the struggles to communicate. Luckily, Haxall could help Aurelio financially with English-language classes and cosmetology schooling, which are expensive for international students. Still, there was a level of stress involved, because Aurelio continued to face deportation if he Read more No More Question Marks - Out 4 Immigration. (photo: Out4Immigration.org)

Tags: Out 4 Immigration, gay immigration, equality

Whenever Antje and I travel to Germany together, we always do a rehearsal of what she will say when re-entering the United States. Even though all her papers are in order, she is completely legal and hasn't done anything wrong, we both get that feeling of paranoia that she is going to be detained, some official paper won't be recognized or she will in some way be harassed. I am always waved through and sit on the other side waiting....Straight couples in similar circumstances get married, and residency and work permits follow immediately. Lesbian and gay couples do not have this right. Finally, now, more than three years later, I'm "all set" with a good job and the prospect of being sponsored for a green card. There is sadness too, though, as my relief about being able to live with the woman I love is mixed with missing my home country, family, and close friends. Being a binational couple is no easy in any case. Being a lesbian binational couple, however, adds unfair legal treatment to the challenges you have to overcome. (photo: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality archive) Read more Binational Lesbian Couple in Seattle Shares Their Story in Public Education Effort.

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

I met my partner in February 2003 in Portland, Oregon. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Somehow I knew she would change my life forever. Before we planned our commitment ceremony, my partner informed me that in 2002 she had filed a claim for political asylum in the U.S. At first I had no idea of the impact this would have on us or how our future could possibly be affected. Then I did some research. My partner had passed the one-year deadline and it would be almost impossible to get past this legal challenge. I further found that there was no relief for same-sex couples under the law.

In January 2005 we were both forced to flee to Canada for protection. It is hard to quantify how it feels to be exiled from your own country. Yes we are safe, together, and grateful to this country for giving us that opportunity but we still have not been able to adjust. I think it has to do with the fact that we were essentially forced to live here. If we had a choice, we would still be home in the U.S. There is not a day that goes by that both of us yearn to be back home. As a U.S. citizen, I am still struggling to understand how my relationship is so threatening that it warrants being exiled. Our life at home was totally destroyed.

We had to leave our home, jobs, family, friends, and posses­sions behind. Our credit was literally devastated from attempting to stave off our departure and live a normal life at the same time.When we came to Canada, we had no support network, no place to stay, and no status. For almost three weeks we lived in a shelter. Neither of us had ever lived like that before and to this day it has affected us in a way that is hard to explain. [1] Connie and Ayla - American Exile Blog link: http://americaninexile.blogspot.com/ [2] Family, Unvalued Discrimination, Denial, and the Fate of Binational Same-Sex Couples under U.S. Law. Human Rights Watch; May 2006 ISBN: 1-56432-336-6 link http://www.hrw.org/reports/2006/us0506/6.htm#_Toc132691975 (photo: Human Rights Campaign)

Tags: Human Rights Watch, Family Unvalued, gay immigration, equality

The couple were legally married in the state of Colorado on April 21, 1975, becoming one of six same-sex couples legally married by a Boulder city clerk. Later that year, Richard filed a petition to have Tony granted permanent residency as the spouse of a U.S. citizen. The petition was denied by the Immigration Service (INS), which responded, "You have failed to establish that a bona fide marital relationship can exist between two faggots." The couple then began a ten year legal battle, suing the Immigration Service and trying to stave off Tony's deportation. We pick up the story in 1979. Tony and Richard had sued the INS in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles alleging unconstitutional discrimination. Judge Hill ruled that as a gay couple they were not recognized as a marriage for immigration purposes. They appealed to the Court of Appeals. In 1980, Tony's application for suspension of deportation on the basis that separating him from Richard would constitute extreme hardship was denied by Judge Griffin. Again, Tony and Richard appealed the decision to the Board of Immigration Appeals.

On February 26, 1982 Tony Sullivan was celebrating his fortieth birthday when he received a telephone call from a journalist asking him for his reaction to the decision of the U.S. Court of Appeals in his case. Tony was stunned. The journalist informed him that the decision had been handed down a day before and was being widely reported in the media in San Francisco. Tony and Richard had lost their appeal. (photo: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality archive) Read more Anthony Sullivan & Richard Adams, Plaintiffs in 1982 Case Against INS, Celebrate 25th Anniversary.

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

Claire cannot work here because she is on a visitor's visa. I've been a single parent for over ten years with no outside support. Claire looks for work, and has been on two job interviews. She is highly qualified, but with each passing day the tension grows as the expiration date of her visa grows nearer. She must find an employer to petition for her work visa. Our long term solution is to leave the United States and immigrate to Canada if no other options open up to allow to remain here together. Once Claire starts working we can save the money needed to send off the applications and to start a new life there. We'd like to move to Vancouver or Toronto, both of which are multi-cultural cities and have large lesbian communities. Choosing the right place to live for me is very important, not only as we are queer, but because Alicia is bi-racial. I get angry when I think that all three of us may be forced to leave our own countries to be together. We will leave behind all of our friends, families and colleagues and support network to face the challenge of creating a new life in a new country. (photo: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality archive) Read more Claire & Kathleen: Four Years After Meeting On The Way To A K.D. Lang Concert, This Chicago Couple Shares Their Story

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality

After Amara's visitor visa expired and her savings ran out, the long months stretched into years during which she was unable to work in her profession because she did not have a work permit. Slowly, Amara's self-esteem sank lower and lower, exacerbated by her increasing dependence on me for financial support. We spent many hours and resources trying to find a legal solution to our dilemma, including going to lawyers, entering the green card lottery, negotiating with potential employers, trying to get the latest information and contacting other couples in the same situation. Throughout our-year immigration struggle, it was extremely frustrating to realize that if I had the same rights as most of my fellow (heterosexual) American citizens, Amara and I could have married and gone on with our lives like other couples. Then in 1993, a large endometrial cyst on Amara's ovary burst and we were suddenly faced with the difficult decision of using the last of my savings, or sending her back to Germany for the operation necessary to remove the cyst, with the risk that she would not be allowed to enter the U.S. again and we would be separated for good. (photo: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality archive) Read more Reflections From A Binational Lesbian Couple in Oregon.

Tags: LGIRTF, Immigration Equality, gay immigration, equality